Wornoutwoman

In 1991 and 1992, I lost both my grandparents. They were my heroes and were one of the only constants I had other than my immediate family. As a military brat, I moved on average every two years so these two lovely gems were the part of our standard summer vacations when we would always come back to Oklahoma to visit. I'll never forget each time we'd pull down my grandparent's tree-lined street and into their driveway how I yearned to escape from our beat-up old blue station wagon. Immediately, I'd hop out, run up the driveway, and land in my grandmother's soft comforting arms as she patiently waited in her doorway. Smells of a home-cooked meal and frigid air would waft through, as we crossed into the front room.  If you're wondering why the memory of frigid air would ever register.  Well, spend one summer in Oklahoma and you'll know how welcoming cold air is.  It's just as amazing as my grandmother's fresh-baked homemade rolls or her green jello ...

I had the best intentions today.  After a very full and long two weeks of work, and a successful grand opening (in which I was on my feet for over 10 hours), I was bone-tired ... but still determined to get to church. I got up early, showered and dressed, and then put on my makeup.  I hollered to my little man down the hall to get dressed.  Since my hubs is a volunteer with the kids, he goes early. So most Sundays, it's just me and my mini-me going to second service to join my husband. After getting ready - I took about ten minutes to rest. After all, I still had a bit of time. I thought it couldn't hurt to lay down for a few minutes. HA! Unknowingly, my few minutes led up to a couple hours. The next thing I knew,  my husband was home from church, and I heard this from the kitchen ... bang, clank, rustle ... rustle. My kiddo was in the kitchen making me lunch because he knew I'd wake up hungry.  He'd face-timed his Nana on his iPod t...

The first time I saw the angry face was when my child was only four days old. He was quietly sleeping in his hospital bassinet when we had some visitors stop by to see my new precious bundle of joy. I lifted him, laid him on his back, and rubbed his belly with my fingers.  And out came the face ... You know the one!  That scrunched up - attitude throwing - mouth-puckering - frowny face that says 'leave me alone.' Awww.  Did I think it was adorable back then? Absolutely! Now here it is ... almost ten years later and I have the honor of raising such an amazing kid.  He's giving and smart, and still shows me that same frowny face - except this time he's got the pre-teen attitude to go with it.  Ah yes ... the pre-teen years are among us in our household, and boy it is like a smack in the face. Who was once my happy-go-lucky child - is now smarting back and showing his independence in spades. But, through it all - he's the same giving, smart kid... who's l...

Okay, so I got a sex ed lesson this week from my almost 5-year-old. I know at this age kids are extremely interested in their bodies and the differences in them and the opposite sex. I think with boys...they are from birth to the grave....but I digress. He called me into the bathroom and said, "hey mom....um you know my hump?" (He calls his nads his hump, and I've never told him any other term) I nodded my head. He asked, "do you know it's a bucket of skin that holds my pee?" I raised my eyebrows and said, "No, I didn't know that." Okay...at this point I'm not going to correct him. I'm just gonna let him figure some stuff out on his own until "THE" talk comes at a later date. He got excited and kept going, " And you know what? " "What?" "When I'm older...I'll have hair on it too!" I almost fell to the floor at this one! "Ooooh really? Where did you hear that?" ...

My husband is such a sweet guy. He was having a snack and picked up my latest mag that was mailed to us...Family Circle. Every once in awhile he'll surprise me with some knowledge he'll pick up on handy house tips or kid rearing, and I'll ask him where he heard that from. He just smiles like he's the expert, and I ask if he read it in one of my magazines. "Maybe!" He tilts his head at me, not wanting to admit he pays any attention to them. Tonight he brought me my Family Circle mag, which I had yet to crack open. "They've got a writing contest...You should enter." My husband is one of the coolest guys I know, bad habits and all...I love him to pieces. To not only read these girly mags (not those kinds people) but then find something in them to benefit me. I just think that's pretty awesome. (Again not those kinds of girly mags) Although I'm half a chapter away from the end of my manuscript and trying to figure out how to en...

Is it me or did Ryan Seacrest have some major bloodshot eyes going on last night? Who knows how hard he's been working or if it was due to work at all, since New Years is party central, but it was so distracting to both me and my husband. He kept hitting pause on our DVR, saying, "Look how glassy and red they are!" Although I was diggin' his tie! It was very '80s. It also made me sad to watch Dick Clark. He's had so many surgeries, I'm sure. How else can his face be so smooth and his hands were so wrinkled? He seemed to still be sharp as a tack, but physically you can tell how he's breaking. He's such an icon, and I can't imagine New Year's without him on the tele! How old is he anyway? Does anyone know? We were pretty boring last night...nothing exciting to ring the new year in. We sat like just another night and had our standard family routine. I put my son to bed a little more late than normal and tried to stay up to ...

My sent went through a really rough patch for about six weeks, where everything made him angry. Everything became an argument. He got very physical by hitting or nudging me with his head when he didn't get his way. It was becoming very overwhelming and exhausting. I wasn't sure what I was doing wrong or what to do about it, because nothing was working. Thankfully I had some mommy friends, who had kids at the same age, who said that their little 'used to be angels' were also displaying the same type of behavior. Then my sister's boyfriend reassured me that his son, at four, had all the same issues. This gave me a huge sense of relief. I exhaled and felt normal. Okay...maybe it wasn't my doing something wrong that was causing the behavior?! In the last six weeks, I've just stuck to my guns without giving in. I let my yes mean yes, and my no mean NO. Either the phase has played itself out or he finally got the idea that his testing his boundaries...

This weekend has been so jam-packed full of fun events. I've got some family in town, and we all went to a Blazers game Friday night. My husband gets free passes to the games, so all it cost us a few dollars for popcorn and drinks. We all thoroughly enjoyed ourselves. My and my better half hadn't been to a game together since before our son was born, and it was good to get back to the ice arena to watch the Blazers. My son was so fun to watch. He'd been before with his dad and is starting to really 'learn' the game. He even leaned over to tell me what player was put in the penalty box. He read their player number off the scoreboard and put two and two together to comprehend what player got a penalty. He asked me one-day last week why players got put in the penalty box, and I told him that it's sort of like a time out for players who've done something wrong. So Friday night he smiled when the first player was put in the penalty box and happily r...

Yesterday my family spent the day at my grandmother's in a remote small town. In fact, one wise family member, who is under the age of ten, mentioned that the town looked exactly like Radiator Springs! We all got a laugh out of that one. My grandmother still lives in her home, that's crumbling apart it's so old, and is going strong. As a family, we decided to have Thanksgiving at her house this year. It may be the last time we're able to at the age my grandmother is. As kids, we loved to play there. She's got a big goldfish pond in her back yard, which my sister fell in as a kid. Those goldfish are so big and so old...it makes me wonder if they've been around longer than me. My grandmother also had a secret passageway in her home. Well, it's more like to connecting closets that run the center of her home. So this little hallway that led from the guest room to the master bedroom became our secret passageway...a charming little secret we always...

All parents wonder if we're doing it right. We wonder if we're screwing it up....especially with our first child. My last post is a testament to that first hand, and many of you left me some wonderful comments either at my blog or on some of the communities I'm a part of like: cre8buzz , mybloglog, or myspace . So thanks to you all for your feedback. Each of you had something insightful and supportive to say, which really gave me some insight into the rest of your lives and your parenting. I wanted to give you an update on the chart and it's five lines. Although it is initially what got my son's attention, it's not what's really working for him (note: all five lines are still up).  Each day as he's come home from school, with a smiley on his hand, he's been getting a huge smiley on his chart for the category: OBEYING AT SCHOOL/RIGHT CHOICES. As soon as he's picked up, he can't wait to tell me all the right choices he's made a...

What do you find beautiful? I think it's different for each and every one of us. Tonight as I sat on my porch, watching my son and husband play soccer in the yard, I realized just how beautiful life can be. If you ever read my other blog, daily blessings , you'll know how blessed I feel on a daily basis. So why was tonight so special? Because my husband and I are so financially strapped that it's not even funny, but no matter how bad that gets...my life is still perfect just the way it is. To hear my son's laughter, and see his smile as he spends time with his parents overshadows all the stresses in my life. Do I wish I still had a job with a stable income? Yes! Would I sacrifice the time away from my son to do so? NO WAY! I left a job, of five years, making over 70K but was becoming so involved at work that I had nothing left over to give my family. Now I work from home, on straight commission. If I don't sell....I don't bring home a paycheck. Some mon...

The next couple of weeks are gonna be crazy. For all the momma time I get, I eventually have to burn the midnight oil. There's a new program my company is promoting and Oklahoma it the beta territory. And I'm on the team of sales reps that the whole nation is looking to...to see how it tracks. This week I get to drive 3 hours from home to cold call small towns out in rural OK. The good part about this...I plan on staying the night with my grandmother. She lives out in BFE, and I haven't been to her two-horse town since the death of my grandfather, in 2000. The bad part is that I'm taking two whole days away from my family. It will go quick and I'll be home before I know it. Then I get to pack for a 4 day trip to Georgia for an all-expense-paid trip for work. Two of us were chosen to participate in an annual event, that will basically be socializing, lots of food, and cocktails. The good part is quite obvious.....HELLO. I've not had any ME time fo...

My sister has been dating a wonderful guy for about 9 months, who happens to have an adorable son, Jack (name changed). My darling little boy just came to the realization that my sister and her boyfriend aren't married, and the adorable son in this scenario isn't his cousin. Of course, I ask, "Jack is nine! If he were your cousin...where has he been for the last four years of your life?" Then the next question I got was -  "Well, then if Bob is married to Jack's mom then how come he hangs out with my Aunt?" So I had to explain that Bob wasn't married to Jack's mom anymore. We went over family dynamics and how some couples don't stay together, like Bob and his ex-wife...while still assuring him that his daddy and I love each other very much and wouldn't break up! It's a whole lot for a four-year-old to process. A few nights ago...he pulled out a real doozy while my sister and her boyfriend were at my house. "Hey, B...

Little boys are always infatuated by what (to put it bluntly) hangs between their legs. They're constantly playing with it or learning new ways to pee with it. My son likes to pee in my mother's lawn, much to her horror. We're trying to break him of that. It's funny...I've spent years breaking dogs of peeing indoors, now I'm reminding him that it's not nice to pee outdoors in Nana's lawn. Needless to say, little boys at this age are trying to figure out what makes them unique and different from girls. They see the obvious differences...long hair vs short, attracted to dolls vs trucks, soft-spoken vs loud boy noises. But the most frequent question I get when it comes to body parts is: "Mommy, how come you don't stand up to go pee?" My answer: "Because boys have pee pee's and girls don't." Lately, he's on to bigger and better questions about things like strangers, or heaven, but yesterday he learned a hard l...

Although I make substantially less money with the job I have taken, it allows me more mommy time at home with my son. I don't have to be at an office at a certain time in the morning, which means I am able to get him to school without rushing. And the days he's not in school, I'm able to wake him up and cuddle as much as I want until he's awake enough to be independent. Lately, people have been asking me how we're getting by as a family. I just keep telling them, "We're doing alright...actually we're doing great. Yeah, we have to shuffle a little when it comes to paying bills...but you can't put a value on the time I get with my son!" No one can argue with that! I am so blessed. I thank God every day for providing me with the opportunity to work for my company. I am one of those mom's who has to work...we wouldn't make it on one income. After months of praying, God handed me this opportunity, and I see his blessings every d...

Most days I really appreciate my hubby. He's supportive, attentive, loveable...and grouchy. What man isn't grouchy? It's something you learn to love about them. BUT TODAY.....AAAAAARGH! Being a working mom isn't easy for any of us. Just recently I took a job that allows me to work from home most of the time. I guess he figures that means I don't have regulations, that I get to pick and choose when I HAVE to do some things. Let me set the stage for you all: Around 7 a.m. each morning is when my son usually will wake up asking for some milk/nesquick, which he calls pedia (short for pediasure). After he drinks about 1/4 cup, he usually rolls over and goes back to sleep, with his arms around my neck. I gently pull out of his embrace and replace my neck with a stuffed animal or pillow. Then I either go back to sleep, depending on my schedule for the day, or I get in the shower if I have early appointments. Today I had a conference call at 7 a.m., which my DH (...

Often I hear myself answering, YES, to a lot of little questions by my little boy. He's at the age that he's just talking a mile a minute and asking millions of questions. As I'm doing yard work or housework, and I hear 'isn't that right mommy?' - I just mmhmm while working. I remember my mom telling me a story from my childhood. She recalled it a few years ago, but it's becoming quite the center of my thoughts lately. She told me that she was in the kitchen, and I came bounding in at the bold age of 3, talking and talking. She absent-mindedly answered yes, to what she thought was a harmless question. The next thing she heard was me yelling out the front door, "THANKS MOM!", and she had to run to catch up with me. She didn't know that her 'yes' was permission to go across the neighborhood to a friend's house. I think all of us moms get caught up in our daily activities and automatically respond to our little one's q...