Wornoutwoman

As a mom, we never know who our kids are going to grow into. We know who we hope they grow into - responsible, caring human beings who contribute well to the world around them. Most moms I know (myself included) pray they're parenting well enough to teach their kids to make wise choices... to change things for the better so that they leave the world a better place than how they found it. Since there is no manual for motherhood that gives us step-by-step instructions for each stage - we do the best we can. Thankfully, there are a lot of resources out there that give us some insight. For example, my mother has been key to how I parent. I find myself quoting her phrases without even knowing where they came from. These gems of wisdom have been stored in the back of my mind for future use without my knowledge until they pop from my mouth, and I lovingly shake my head - thankful for my mother's influence. Her gentle spirit was paired with knowledge, discipline, and unconditi...

It's May in Oklahoma. Anyone that lives in Tornado Alley knows what this means. This mixture of cool and warm temperatures leaves the area with high probability that severe weather will break out.  We even have a national storm center here, in Oklahoma, with one of the top meteorology schools in Norman.   Why do storm chasers flock here?  Because the below picture is a common theme for Spring in Oklahoma.  This multi-vortex wedge tornado was just forming when I took a quick photo of the news, but it went on to cause some major damage last night. As Oklahomans, we get asked how can we stand living here?  We must be crazy!  Well, there is extreme weather everywhere.  Name a region that doesn't get tornados, earthquakes, flash flooding, tropical storms, or ice storms.  Oklahoma just happens to get all of them.  Last night, the storms were staying south of us, traveling east.  (See that little circle up there? That's...

When looking for a certain pen for T the other tonight, I pulled open a desk drawer as the whiff of waxy crayons met me - instantly taking me back to his younger years. It hit me that he's not used a crayon in forever and I'd forgotten how long it had been until just then. Each year I feel that time slips through my fingers like water. It really hits home when I see a photo of my child from when he still had his little baby face, or when I open up a drawer to find the familiar scent of a past-time he's grown out of... like coloring. Although I loved the stages he went through as a little boy, I am enjoying this stage in his life the most. This 'tween' of mine - although going through the normal growing pains - is full of life.  He is still tender-hearted - but doesn't put up with things that aren't right. He is a fighter while still being kind - and I for one love that he has struck that balance in life. So, I'm sad to see the crayons go ... b...

As a parent, I try to be proactive with certain conversations, like sex, as my child is getting older. I'd rather him hear from his father and myself than at recess, from his peers, like I did (at a much younger age than he is). Sex is something that can and will be skewed by his peers' perceptions, based on how it was told to them (by their parents or a peer) and by what they see in the media. There are a whole lot of confusing messages out there, and I don't want my kid lost in the shuffle. However, that being said ... I don't want to bring something up that he's not prepared for either. Treading lightly is a good thing, as I introduce the subject. That may not be every parent's perspective ... but it's mine. Every child needs to have the talk, but each child is so different and when they're ready for the talk will vary on their social circumstances and their mental capacity to understand. Last week, we were sitting at church with another fa...

After mass chaos & sugar-crazed maniacs ransacked my home, I'm happy to report all are alive and well. My husband and I survived our son's first sleepover, after a huge party. Fifteen to twenty hyper 9-year-olds were running in, out, and around my home for two hours. Afterward, I was crazy enough to invite three to stay over. I finally fell asleep at 3:00 am and was promptly awake at 6:45 am, when I heard laughter and giggles coming from the main living area. I thought, "Didn't I just get them to stop that and get to sleep?" Apparently not. It was an eternity for parent pick up time at 10:00 am, but it's something I'd be willing to invest my time in again if for the mere fact that my son had his best birthday party yet. So here I am - with droopy eyelids, craving birthday cake to stay awake, and a silly smile on my face. Not only did my husband and I survive, but we gave him a really great gift. We gave him the gift of time to be with...

Monday, March 10th, 2003, I proceeded to stand up at the end of my sales meeting to go back upstairs to my office. Something in my huge belly creaked, popped, and groaned just enough to keep me from standing. Most of those around me asked if they could help me stand because I was stuck in my chair. Me, being tough, brushed it off as nothing and thanked them for their offers. I got my fat self off my chair to waddle to the staircase. Thankfully, one of the men I worked with, also a father, was wise enough not to let me take the stairs back up to our floor. He escorted me to the elevator, swiped his ID card, and walked me to my little cubicle. I was to have a ride-along that day with a new rep, who was sick and coughing. I'd been riding with him three days prior and unfortunately was now thoroughly congested. I walked to his cubicle and told him I would meet him later as I thought I had a doctor's check-up at the hospital. He asked to drive me, because like everyon...

Next month my son will turn five. When asked how old he is for the last four months he's told everyone 'four and a HALF.' Suddenly, in the last few weeks, his answer has turned to 'four and THREE QUARTERS.' Now how he figured that out I'm not quite sure, but he's always been my amazing child. At the age of two, he could look in my eyes and tell when I was troubled. I'll never forget a time when I did my best to put on a happy disposition but was troubled and he just knew. He's always been in tune with me, and in response, he told me that everything would be okay. His loving pat on my face and his tender glance into my eyes had me believing him. He's this child who has an amazingly pure and wise spirit, which God has blessed him with. He's this child whose brain is always ticking, trying to put it all together...and he usually does and better than most of the adults around him. I'm blown away at how fast he's grown up and ...

Any mom knows that once you go back to work after a long holiday season, it's hard to get your kids in gear. My son is fighting it so bad. At least it's not a full tantrum so to speak. He's just been whining and complaining, that it's not supposed to be a workday for mommy...that he's supposed to be with me. Don't I wish that were true. Over the holidays I accomplished a lot. I finally did a 'once over' of my manuscript and fixed all the little bits that needed finessing. I worked out the last chapter and started putting it down. Now I just have to complete the whole thing to give to my sis for her review. As far as family and the home: The never-ending battle of clutter is cleaned up! Ah-hah! It took five days off, but I did it...yay! (small victory dance) And amazingly enough, I did all the laundry...you actually can see the bottom of an empty laundry basket. For anyone that knows my family, that's a miracle. There's just thr...

Today my son and his two friends went to see the Bee Movie, which we all thoroughly enjoyed. There were a few things that weren't exactly on my kid-friendly approval list, but they were so far above their little heads/minds that I overlooked them. The overall message was a good one and the humor was adorable. I toted my son and his best friend in my car, and we met his other friend and his mom at the theater. It was the first time we've gotten them all together, other than at a birthday party. It was so cool seeing their excitement just to be able to hang with the guys ! We couldn't even find the right movie screen at first. I specifically asked for (in clear English) The BEEEEE Movie at the ticket window! When we walked in, and the theater attendant took our tickets, he told us to go to theater number nineteen.  We all walked the nine-million miles to screen number nineteen and walked in...only to find out that it wasn't The Bee Movie at all. It was full...

What do you find beautiful? I think it's different for each and every one of us. Tonight as I sat on my porch, watching my son and husband play soccer in the yard, I realized just how beautiful life can be. If you ever read my other blog, daily blessings , you'll know how blessed I feel on a daily basis. So why was tonight so special? Because my husband and I are so financially strapped that it's not even funny, but no matter how bad that gets...my life is still perfect just the way it is. To hear my son's laughter, and see his smile as he spends time with his parents overshadows all the stresses in my life. Do I wish I still had a job with a stable income? Yes! Would I sacrifice the time away from my son to do so? NO WAY! I left a job, of five years, making over 70K but was becoming so involved at work that I had nothing left over to give my family. Now I work from home, on straight commission. If I don't sell....I don't bring home a paycheck. Some mon...

This morning was pretty easy. We had two people come by the waiting room, from our church, to pray with us over our son. I already had a peace that he wouldn't have any issues from the anesthetics. My mom is highly sensitive to it and almost hasn't woken up from it a few times. We weren't sure how my son would react. Giving him his sleep meds...whatever they were...was pretty funny. I saw my son at four stoned from the meds, which was funny but disturbing at the same time. The reality hit when the nice nurse walked out with him, and he slurred, "Hey, yooou guyzzz. Wuhhaait fer mmee rrright hr." Translation....he wanted us to wait for him to get out in our pre-op room. All in all, it took 45 minutes or so. The nurse even called me from the surgical room when my son was put under to reassure me that everything was going smoothly. The other mothers in the room all commented that they wished their doctors would have done the same thing for them. I thou...

If any of you read my blog about my son's little girlfriend, you'll remember how replaced I felt. It was so sweet seeing him adore this beautiful little girl. I felt I was doing a good job teaching how to treat a lady. He's affectionate and funny...a great catch if I don't say so myself. Well, he's four and a half. Up until now he's at least always said that he wanted to marry 'Mommy' when he got older. I knew that would change someday, but I didn't know it would come so soon. After getting home from Pump It Up last night, he couldn't stop talking about his little girlfriend. They even held hands when they'd go from one room to the next. Sickening...I tell you! Last night, he told me point-blank: Toni's gonna be my wife someday, Mom! ...not Mommy...MOM...and very matter of fact too. I said, "She is huh? She's awfully pretty." He said, "Yeah, and she's got room in her heart for Jesus!" Ah...

My sister has been dating a wonderful guy for about 9 months, who happens to have an adorable son, Jack (name changed). My darling little boy just came to the realization that my sister and her boyfriend aren't married, and the adorable son in this scenario isn't his cousin. Of course, I ask, "Jack is nine! If he were your cousin...where has he been for the last four years of your life?" Then the next question I got was -  "Well, then if Bob is married to Jack's mom then how come he hangs out with my Aunt?" So I had to explain that Bob wasn't married to Jack's mom anymore. We went over family dynamics and how some couples don't stay together, like Bob and his ex-wife...while still assuring him that his daddy and I love each other very much and wouldn't break up! It's a whole lot for a four-year-old to process. A few nights ago...he pulled out a real doozy while my sister and her boyfriend were at my house. "Hey, B...

Little boys are always infatuated by what (to put it bluntly) hangs between their legs. They're constantly playing with it or learning new ways to pee with it. My son likes to pee in my mother's lawn, much to her horror. We're trying to break him of that. It's funny...I've spent years breaking dogs of peeing indoors, now I'm reminding him that it's not nice to pee outdoors in Nana's lawn. Needless to say, little boys at this age are trying to figure out what makes them unique and different from girls. They see the obvious differences...long hair vs short, attracted to dolls vs trucks, soft-spoken vs loud boy noises. But the most frequent question I get when it comes to body parts is: "Mommy, how come you don't stand up to go pee?" My answer: "Because boys have pee pee's and girls don't." Lately, he's on to bigger and better questions about things like strangers, or heaven, but yesterday he learned a hard l...

Getting tagged is always fun if I've got the time to respond. Terri Terri Quite Contrary  challenged me to list my top goals for my life. Although I had already done this on my other  site , it was mostly my personal goals. I think it's great to have separate goals in life. Goals that define me as a person, an employee, a mother, a wife...etc. My other site, Daily Blessings, focused on my personal goals. This time I think I should focus on my goals of being a better mother. A friend of mine asked me to share what I loved most about being a mom in one of her discussions online. She had some mom 'friends' in a chat who were all feeling a major sense of loss due to their stress of being a mom. They'd lost their personal time, they'd lost their figures and minds, and they'd lost a sense of self. Here's what I listed in reply to her request of a little encouragement to pass along: Motherhood is my calling! You've read my posts before, enoug...

Most days are so easy with my little boy. He's an absolute joy to be around, and I understand how blessed I am. Today though was a rough morning! He was being a pill .... part because he was under the weather ... part because he wasn't allowed a donut. He threw a fit for an hour, which only made his congestion and cough worse. Basically, I was the bad guy for not giving him his way. I know all moms have these moments, so I'm not complaining. I think the major issue I'm dealing with him right now is...he doesn't listen. He's not respecting me when I tell him to do or not to do something. Is this normal behavior for a four-year-old??? If any of you have Veggie Tale movies at home for your kids, you may remember the SUV song. They sing about 'cruising to 7-11 for Dunkin donuts and a cup of joe'. My son just laughs at that and thinks it's hilarious. So today we were supposed to cruise by 7-11 to get a donut before going to his caregiver...

I thought I'd get off scot-free without passing this crud to my family. I covered my mouth when coughing and washed my hands. Due diligence didn't really pay off though. Luckily, my son has a mild case of it. BUT...I started out that way until my symptoms ramped up like they were ready for lift-off. I just pray with the help of prayer and Triaminic, that he'll ease back into health a lot faster than I did. Right now he's sleeping, which is the best thing for him. If the sickness will just stay in his nose/head, and keep out of his chest then all will be well. The hard part will be having to drop him off to my caregiver. He won't understand why I have to go to work instead of staying home with him. He's too little too understand that because 'mommy' was sick and couldn't work for a few days that her full commission job won't pay her. He just knows that when I was sick I took a few days for me, so why won't I take a few days for him?...

I was leaving my son's mother's day out program last week, while on my cell phone. I am not usually one of those rude people, who talk loudly and ignore their surroundings. When I was walking to my car, I apologized to another mom walking out next to me. "Sorry," I whispered and shrugged my shoulders, "...Conference call for work...I have to be on here." She looked at me and said, "Man, how nice is it to be working while you're taking care of your son? I don't work, but some days I wish I did just to have some sanity." I smiled and nodded, giving her the universal look for I understand and we parted ways. I got in my car and again reminded myself how fortunate and blessed I was. I honestly have the best of both worlds. YES, I have to work, but I can choose how I work! We used to make a lot more when I worked an office sales job that had me tied to corporate politics sun up to sundown. I made money, but couldn't be a q...

My son, who's four, has already become an expert on all things in this world. It must be a man thing. They think they know everything by the age of... four, apparently. Even though it's the beginning of spring and almost the middle of April, it's freezing here in Oklahoma. I'm coming down with a chest cold, and the weather feels like it's the middle of winter! It's horrible and I can't imagine why my son wants to go out in this weather at all. BUT...the other day he kept insisting that he get to go ride his bike around the driveway. "NO" just doesn't work at this age due to their intent to drive to win any conversation. A four-year-old's goal is to get their own way come h--- or high water. After the fifth, "Mommy, please! Can't I go ride my bike?", and my fifth, "NO. I told you it's too cold." It got quiet so I thought I'd won the battle until this matter a fact voice came from my son, saying,...

Yesterday we had our four-year-old check-up. We got his hearing and vision checked...A-OKAY. He got to pee in a cup for the first time, which he was thrilled about. What is it about boys and peeing anyways? (I think that's another blog) After the initial consultation, when our doctor asked him a round of pertinent questions to test his mental capacity, the nurse came in with a box of needles hidden behind her back. I hugged my son and laid him down for her. She told him to grab my hands and squeeze hard if he needed to. He saw the first of two syringes in her hands, and just lay there in a stupor. I know he was thinking, "You're gonna do what?" He held my hands and didn't even flinch when the first one when in. She slowly injected the shot and pulled out and grabbed the second round. I felt no squeezing going on and no tears were welling up....hmmmm...good sign. Number two went in his other leg, and again he didn't even flinch. After she p...