When mom's the bad guy...

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Most days are so easy with my little boy. He's an absolute joy to be around, and I understand how blessed I am. Today though was a rough morning! He was being a pill .... part because he was under the weather ... part because he wasn't allowed a donut.

He threw a fit for an hour, which only made his congestion and cough worse. Basically, I was the bad guy for not giving him his way. I know all moms have these moments, so I'm not complaining. I think the major issue I'm dealing with him right now is...he doesn't listen. He's not respecting me when I tell him to do or not to do something. Is this normal behavior for a four-year-old???

If any of you have Veggie Tale movies at home for your kids, you may remember the SUV song. They sing about 'cruising to 7-11 for Dunkin donuts and a cup of joe'. My son just laughs at that and thinks it's hilarious. So today we were supposed to cruise by 7-11 to get a donut before going to his caregivers. He disobeyed me on something 'small' and I chose to take that privilege away from him.

I know, as parents, we have to choose our battles and taking a donut away for a small infraction isn't that big of a deal. Maybe I should have overlooked the behavior and rewarded him with a sweet donut. BUT the big picture is that he's not listening to a lot lately and I was just tired of it!

It's small stuff he's ignoring me on now, but it will be bigger stuff when he's older. I feel like I have to nip it in the bud now to prevent the big stuff from happening down the road.

Can any of you moms give me any feedback here? Do all four-year-olds go through this phase?

Comments

Urban said…
I don't know about ALL, but certainly MOST do ignore what they're told. You've got to stick to your guns, Mom, remain consistant and your efforts WILL (eventually) be rewarded. Unfortunately there's often another too-soon hurdle to clear, but you did good. Visit my site - there are a few links to other parents with tots that you may find inspiring.
11:20 AM
Anonymous said…
You go girl. It's definently a phase. But if you don't show em whose boss now it sill become ~a lifestyle. And not a great one for you. So I repeat. You go girl :)

Love in Christ,
Heather
11:53 AM
Anonymous said…
Not every kid is the same by any means. You will serve your son best by showing him who is the adult. By sticking to your guns you are the parent. This is very difficult for parents to do, and many give in. If you give in, that tantrum will last longer the next time because he got his way this time. If you stick to your guns than the tantrum will be less the next time.

Hang in there, I know your a good mom.
1:28 PM
Terri said…
Yes, all 4 year olds go through this behavior. Actually, my son started at about 1 1/2 and I'm still waiting for him to outgrow it at 16....
4:47 PM
Rebecca said…
I don't know about four year olds as I haven't had any yet but my 2 almost three going on 20 year old is hitting that phase with a running start. One day he's my sweet guy that is so well behaved and the next he's tellin me no & figuring out how to do something himself when I tell him I won't. ie: moving chairs & stools to get the peanut butter jar & a spoon to eat it with. You are right though, it has to be nipped in the bud & with balance, like you said - pick the battles.
10:28 AM
Carol said…
I have to agree with what everyone else is saying here. You have to be consistent and believe it or not, children secretly love it. You are being a great Mom by starting this now and showing your son what is acceptable behavior and what is not.
Kudos
11:20 AM
Mommy's Getaway said…
I just wanted you to know - my almost 4 yr old has a hard time listening to her daddy and I. And I was told by someone that 4 yr olds are just preparation for the teen years. Great..that is what I want to look forward to!
12:23 PM
Kimberly McKay said…
Great...glad to know I'm not alone and standed here on this subject!!! But wholy moley...planning for teen years...grrreat! :<
3:53 PM
Unknown said…
I agree. It's important to take action now, so that you will have an easier time when he's a teenager.
4:34 PM
Christine - Tutorial Addict :) said…
I totally understand what you are going through! I have a four year old too and she is a HANDFUL! Emotional, irrational, energetic, and talks WAY more than she listens. I watched a show the other day that talked about this EXACT situation and this is totally the norm. The best part about what they said is that this is FOUR and that by FIVE they are usually totally different kids! Preschoolers are what I described and Kindergardners are calmer, less irrational, can better express their emotions and DEAL with them. So pretty much we are just trying to get to FIVE! Oh FIVE, your only 93 days away!
8:44 AM
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