Interactive Participation Needed Please

Hey all,

I'm doing a little market research for a project and need your opinion on how you personally would handle this situation. It is not a real situation, but it relates to a project I'm working on. So think of it as a real situation as it applies to you, then please tell me how you would respond. If I don't provide an answer that would suitably fit you, respond with your own choice.

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Imagine that you've been without knowing your father your whole life. He is an unknown, someone your mother never would talk about. This biological link to your life is a void in your heart. In fact, you've been told he was dead.

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Secondly imagine, upon going through some items in a trunk or an attic you find clues to your heritage and evidence that your father is alive.

You immediately research this new family tree, as it's what you've been missing your whole life. You find out that your father is not the ideal father figure you'd always hoped he'd be. In fact, you learn that he was someone, who at one point, hurt your mother in the worst way.

Upon more digging, you find letters written to you from your dad. He had tried to make contact at some point in your life, but your mother kept the letters from you.

Would you:

A) Wait to read the letter, not knowing how you feel about your father, but eventually open it hope that your biological dad had grown up and probably changed for the better.

B) Write return to sender and wash your hands of him, like your mother did.

C) Immediately open them, curious to see what he was like no matter what the consequences.

D) Burn the letters, and never give it a second thought.



I realize this is not the usual post I put on here....but it would help me if you could give your input. Thank you to you all!

Comments

Anonymous said…
C.

How can you leave a letter unopened? I wouldn't be able to control my curiosity. So yeah, I'd open them. Probably immediately.

Then . . . who know's. Maybe then I'd burn them. Probably, actually, unless there was some compelling evidence in the letter indicating there was some change. Some redemption . . . something.

But if all that was in the letters was selfish bullshit--which would probably be the case--then I'd probably burn them.

This struck a nerve, can you tell?

As a son,I hate fathers day. So mine might not be your ideal cross section for the population response. :)

Later,
Chris
Jennifer said…
This is a very personal decision with no correct answer. It would be something that the person involved would have to consider and answer to the best of there ability and not get a survey answer as we can all say "Screw Him" or "Yeah way to go dad" whichever.
Anonymous said…
Absolutely, unequivocally C. We're all adults here in your "hypothetical scenario", right? So...I'm finding out about my dad, & my mom can find her own way to deal with that.
Kimberly McKay said…
Chris your input has been invaluable!
Jennifer...you've given some great input too.
Anonymous....yes we're all adults and your logic has helped in the research.

thank you to you all...
Anonymous said…
I would open them and see if there was anything making it worth pursuing a relationship. Funny... I recently read a book with this premise. It was called "Vanishing Acts" by Jodi Picoult.
Kimberly McKay said…
Teri...can always count on you! Thank you so much. Wonder what your buddy, ieatsnowpoop, would say?
Anonymous said…
I'll ask her!
Stacy said…
Funny you should ask. I do know my father but in recent years I don't know my father anymore if that makes any sense to you. We rarely speak.

So my opinion on this one is slightly swayed. I would say C. But I don't think I would actually contact him without discussing it over with my mother about why I never was told. Why exactly was he kept out of my life. Bitterness or was there a real reason pertaining to me. And even then I might not contact him.
Kimberly McKay said…
Thank you so much ieat_snowmanpoop! I just love your name by the way! Appreciate your help.
Rebecca said…
I may be too late to help but I actually had a similar situation as this one, not exact but I can relate. I'd open the letters and probably within minutes of finding them. I would need some sort of closure.

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