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To me, it's amazing when my 5-year-old comes home talking about the history behind MLK day. When I was in Kindergarten, we learned ou...

Friday, April 27, 2007

Goals for Motherhood

Getting tagged is always fun, if I've got the time to respond. Terri Terri Quite Contrary challenged me to list my top goals for my life. Although I had already done this on my other site, it was mostly my personal goals. I think it's great to have separate goals in life. Goals that define me as a person, an employee, a mother, a wife...etc. My other site, Daily Blessings, focused on my personal goals. This time I think I should focus on my goals to being a better mother.

A friend of mine asked me to share what I loved most about being a mom in one of her discussions online. She had some 'friends' in a chat that we're all mothers, and feeling a major sense of loss due to their stress of being a mom. They'd lost their personal time, they'd lost their figures and minds, and they'd lost a sense of self.
Here's what I listed in reply to her request of a little encouragement to pass along:


"Motherhood is my calling! You've read my posts before, enough to know how serious I take the task of raising my child. It's the most fulfilling thing I've ever gone through...that part of me that always wondered, 'what am I supposed to do in life? How will I make my mark?', has been answered. Being a mother has been a gift of joy, stress, sleepless nights and I'm sure many more to come, abounding love, pride, accomplishment, and major adventure. It's the best thing on earth...every day is new and those kids look to us to make it fun and full of energy for them. They look to us to teach and guide them. They look to us for encouragement and discipline....for boundaries.

Now don't get me wrong...every woman and mom are different. Just because I'm completely satisfied in my position, doesn't mean I expect every other mother to be. It does mean I don't understand how they could focus on the negative vs. reveling in the positives...however maybe it will take people like you, Kat, to teach them the difference. We all lose some things...like our shapes, our social schedules, our independent time/quiet time, our flashy wardrobes/looks, or anything else one might think is a 'loss'. Oh...and sometimes our sanity! LOL....but you have to lose something to understand how sweet the gains are in life. The gains are those adorable little eyes that look up to ours, expecting a solid mom, with unconditional love. The gains are those little hearts that learn what love is by the example we set in their lives. The gains are the honor of being called, "MOMMY!"

These women, may feel loss...I acknowledge that....but maybe they need to redirect their focus on what the gains are. They should try it one day at a time....it might make the world to their children...isn't that what counts?"



What does this post have to do with my goals?


MY NUMBER ONE GOAL:

1. To never feel like a desperate mom, in need of escape from my child or my position in life. My goal is to be the best mom I can be, while still balancing my personal time. It's important to stay sane for my child and family. My goal is to keep something for me, whether it be yoga or the gym, my writing/photography, or a good book! Having some time to center, will make me a more balanced person which will enable me to be the best mom I can be...FOCUSED, DRIVEN, LOVING, AND UNCONDITIONAL!

2. To get my son back into swimming lessons after soccer is over. We started this past winter, and it was only a 6 week course at the Y. He got sick and we only attended a few weeks of lessons. My in-laws have a pool, which makes me more than a little uncomfortable knowing my son can't swim on his own yet. He's a fish, but only with a aid from me or his dad. Swim lessons are paramount!

3. To pick my battles better. Everything doesn't have to be a "NO". I love having fun with my son, but some days when my patience may be thinner than others...a no will pop out sooner than a yes. On those days, when he wants to do something I'm not patient enough for, I need to stop, breathe, and think about what's best for him...not for me.

4. To help him fall asleep on his own!
I never did the Dr. Ferber method of getting my little one to sleep at night. His reflux was so bad our pediatrician told us to lay him in an infact carrier to sleep, to keep him elevated. He ended up gagging on his own spit up, and from there we were instructed to lay him on my chest at night. We were supposed to keep him at an angle to keep him from choking. I leaned back on pillows, and propped additional pillows under my arms to prevent from moving at night. He got used to my heartbeat and smell a lot longer than most babies should. Due to this, he still needs me to lay next to him and cuddle to get to sleep. My goal is to have him falling asleep on his own by the time he's 4 1/2!

5. To donate all his old baby toys and consolidate his room. There's always so much crap that one mom can have in one room at a time. My last goal is to get rid of everything he doesn't need anymore and set it on my porch for Salvation Army.


So who do I tag with this fun task of listing their goals:
A not so deperate housewife
That Mommy
Work at Home Mom Revolution

Saturday, April 21, 2007

My first day as a 'Soccer Mom'

Nine o'clock came early this morning. My son has been sleeping in most mornings for the last few weeks, due to my need for sleep (I'm trying to get over this upper respritory crud). However, after giving him a little prep talk last night, that he had to wake up before 8 a.m. to make it to his game, he came running down to our room with his digital clock in hand. It's one of those SkySkan Atomic clocks that will tell the accurate time and temperature on it's own.

He pushed the button, tapped me on the shoulder, and whispered, "Mom! It's 7:30. Get up, I have soccer game!"

I am so tired from this cough and chest congestion, but there's no way I'd miss the honor of being there. Not only was it his first sporting event (Ah! and now it'll never end!), but it was my first day to be a soccer mom. Something I never saw myself as. I never pictured myself as that girl!

Before the game, the coach led the team in a prayer of thanks and protection for all the players. It was so cute to see them all bow their little heads in unison and participate. Then they were off!

I just knew somehow it would be chaos with a bunch of 4 and 5 year olds running around, but I was so impressed with the whole group...especially my son. He was a starting player today, but he's been kicking a ball since he could walk. When the coach had them run their first practice drill before the game, my little guy darted with his ball-- and kept going and going and going! He was quick and nimble with his feet. It was obvious he knew what he was doing-it was as easy as breathing. The coach's son, who happens to be my son's best friend, was also a natural. Do you know how cool it was to see my baby loving life with a big grin as he ran along side his best friend?


Our team, the Dolphins, didn't score a goal. The Longhorns, the opposing Pre-K team, scored FIVE goals! They were like 4 year olds on steroids! I mean it just didn't seem like a fair match up...they had obviously had practice or coaching prior to this game. Our team members were aggressive, but no competition for the Longhorns.

For the most part, all these kids were good listeners and kicked well. It wasn't a massive chaoctic scene. It was fairly organized...great coaching by the staff. They have to be the most patient coaches on the planet. Not one kid asked for a potty break, or for a drink. In fact, we had to ask them if they needed either which we all got a 'no'. It was obvious that all they wanted to do was PLAY and play hard.

Today was such a blessing. Now I just have to recover physically from being out in the cold winds. I've been coughing up a lung all day. Keep me in your prayers...3 weeks of this stuff is ENOUGH!

Friday, April 20, 2007

A long road...a new dawning


Being on here awhile now, I get the fun task of listing certain things that are in response to being tagged. Most are quite fun! However this last one is a little brain boggling. My task is to list what obsessive thoughts plague me. I don't normally focus on these sorts of things...I push any tiny nagging negative to the back of my brain because I like to always think about the upside of life.

However, I never back down from a challenge...at least a reasonable one. So Carolsplaceforpeace...this one's for you. You gave me this task and I will follow through.

When I was younger, before having a good life, I faced a lot of trauma. Too much trauma for someone that had only lived 20 or so years on the earth. I suffered a lot of pain and mental stress. Through a lot of prayer and hard work on my part, I overcame and survived! I moved on to a healthier me, who didn't want to focus on the past but move forward. However the past is what made me who I am today.

So I can say, I used to suffer obsessive thoughts on a daily basis. In my teens I obsessed on when I would die. I didn't think I'd make it past 18. Then once my 18th birthday came and went, God tapped me on the heart and whispered, "See I told you...you're going to make it. Keep going!"

Once in college, I obsessed over how I was going to make it day to day. The person that caused me a lot of trauma attended the same university I did. He harassed me daily, so I turned to alcohol to get past the pain. I obsessed over how dirty I felt, from the person's behavior toward me. Again God stayed with me and whispered, "You're my creation. You're strong and healthy. You're perfect and chaste. Keep going...I'm with you.....YOU'RE GOING TO MAKE IT!"

Long story short, I found a great family therapist that helped me peel back the layers of my experiences in life to help me find my core. She helped me remember who I was. God used her in such a way that I knew I was exactly all those things God kept telling me I was. I am a survivor, who doesn't like to focus on anything but making it happen for me and my family. I will not cow to negative thoughts or anything that wouldn't give praise to my Lord.

However, at 2 a.m. when I'm groggy or not fully alert....a few of those old thoughts may be triggered from a dream. I have to wake myself up and pray THANKS TO GOD for making me who I am, was, and will be. Thanks to HIM for who He is, was, and will always be.

I probably won't tag anyone with this, because I would never encourage anyone to focus on anything that wouldn't be positive. Hey we all know negative or bad things happen...let's do what we can to overcome them!

Wednesday, April 18, 2007

When mom's the bad guy...

Most days are so easy with my little boy. He's an absolute joy to be around, and I understand how blessed I am. Today though was a rough morning! He was being a pill .... part because he was under the weather ... part because he wasn't allowed a donut.

He threw a fit for an hour, which only made his congestion and cough worse. Basically I was the bad guy for not giving him his way. I know all mom's have these moments, so I'm not complaining. I think the major issue I'm dealing with him right now is...he doesn't listen. He's not respecting me when I tell him to do or not to do something. Is this normal behavior for a four year old???

If any of you have Veggie Tale movies at home for your kids, you may remember the SUV song. They sing about 'cruising to 7-11 for dunkin donuts and a cup of joe'. My son just laughs at that and thinks its hilarious. So today we were supposed to cruise by 7-11 to get a donut before going to his care givers. He disobeyed my on something 'small' and I chose to take that privelage away from him.

I know, as parents, we have to choose our battles and taking a donut away for a small infraction isn't that big of a deal. Maybe I should have overlooked the behavior and rewarded him with a sweet donut. BUT the big picture is that he's not listening a lot lately and I was just tired of it!

It's small stuff he's ignoring me on now, but it will be bigger stuff when he's older. I feel like I have to nip it in the bud now to prevent the big stuff from happening down the road.

Can any of you moms give me any feed back here? Do all four year olds go through this phase?

Tuesday, April 17, 2007

I think I can...I think I can

What an honor to have the Thinking Blogger Award bestowed upon me! Thank you to my friend at A not so desperate housewife for nominating me for this. She's an amazing mother and military wife, who runs a awesome blog.

So why do I blog? Because I'm driven to write every day. It's almost a calling! It's defnitely a desire and a passion of mine. Blogging allows me to share a little part of me with all of you. It's a way to connect to the human race...to let you all know that through all our differences or quirks, we're all really just alike. We have the basic needs and wants that most do, some just express it better through blogging!

Five others I would like to award this to? Thats easy!
The Candles
Wandering and Wondering
Vibrance in Ministry
Grit's n Grace
Beverely's Blog

All five of these recipients deserve this award due to their extraordinary views of the world and how they beautifully express them. Please take a minute to visit these links, and I hope I've linked these the right way. I've not done it before on Blogger, only on wordpress. I apologize if I didn't do it correctly.

To those that have been awarded the THINKING BLOGGER AWARD: congratulations!!!!

You all won this because every time I visit your pages, I am amazed at your posts and you've truly inspired me. Please repost this award on your site and list five others you'd like to award! Also link back to my page, so that we can track this award and to whom it goes.

Thank you and have a great day!!!

Monday, April 16, 2007

crud...now my son has it

I thought I'd get off scott free without passing this crud to my family. I covered my mouth when coughing, and washed my hands. Due diligence didn't really pay off though...luckily so far my son has a mild case of it. BUT...I started out pretty mild with my symptoms and they ramped up quickly. I just pray with the help of prayer and Triaminic, that he'll ease back into health a lot faster than I did.

Right now he's sleeping, which is the best thing for him. If the sickness will just stay in his nose/head, and keep out of his chest than all will be well. The hard part will be having to drop him off to my care giver. He won't understand why I have to go to work instead of staying home with him. He's too little too understand that because 'mommy' was sick and couldn't work for a few days that her full commission job won't pay her. He just knows that when I was sick I took a few days for me, so why won't I take a few days for him?

Sounds selfish, I know!! Most mom's reading this wouldn't understand the issue. They'd probably chastise me for even debating between the two...after all your child comes first! That he does, so undoubtably I will take time off to care for him.

I will take a couple of days off if he gets worse, but as of now it's just congestion and not chest related. It's a hard balance. I couldn't work last week when I had the crud. Anytime I tried to--my chest and throat would spasm and I'd cough up a lung. Clients didn't want to see me like that, and the best thing to do, so I could get back to work, was rest. Now the balance is: How many days do I work to make up the difference...and when do I take off for my son? It's no question my son comes first, however, I also have to provide for him. I don't have a salaried position, and our family relies on what I make to keep a roof over our head.

Ahhh, the joys of a working mom! I still wouldn't trade it for anything...life is too good!

Sunday, April 15, 2007

My evil twin

Not a week doesn't go by that I don't have someone say,"I swear I just saw you at the mall." And even when I profess I hadn't been to the mall, or where ever else my alter was spotted, these random people swear they've seen me in various places I haven't been. About 70% of the time when I'm meeting someone new, I often get,"I've seen you before. Where have we met?"

No, for those of you thinking that it's a pick up line...usually it's not. I can tell the difference. Most times it's someone who's seen someone else who 'supposedly' looks exactly like me! It's weird actually to get that type of comment so often. I usually just reply with one of two answers: "Well, that's my evil twin...I hope she was behaving herself this time!" or "Yeah, I get that a lot...I must have one of those generic faces that looks like anyone else."

So to put all of your twin theories to rest, I have posted my celebrity look alike chart with my photo front and center. If you see some one out there who looks JUST LIKE ME, please stop her and ask her for her name. I'd like to know who it is who keeps impersonating me! Thank you very much!


Friday, April 13, 2007

working moms

I was leaving my son's mother's day out program last week, while on my cell phone. I am not usually one of those rude people, who talk loudly and ignore their surroundings. When I was walking to my car, I apologized to another mom walking out next to me.
"Sorry," I whispered and shrugged my shoulders, "...Conference call for work...I have to be on here."
She looked at me and said, "Man, how nice is it to be working while you're taking care of your son? I don't work, but some days I wish I did just to have some sanity."

I smiled and nodded, giving her the "I understand" look and we parted ways. I got in my car and again reminded myself how fortunate and blessed I was. I honestly have the best of both worlds.

*YES, I have to work!
We can't survive on one salary. We barely survive on two, now that I work from home.

BUT, I can choose how I work!
We used to make a lot more when I worked an office sales job that had me tied to corporate politics sun up to sun down. I made money, but couldn't be a quality care giver to my son. I was miserable and cranky, and my health was failing from the stress of having to balance being a super mom and being the top sales persona.

I left a year ago out of necessity. It was necessary to my health and my son's well being to have a mom first! Now I have the flexibility to take care of my first priority-my family.

I still do that by working hard! I still have 40 hours I put in, but during some of those hours...he's with me. I get to take care of business and my family. There isn't a better gig in the world for a woman like me, who has to work!

I thank God every day for his blessings...a wonderful family and a wonderful job!

Wednesday, April 11, 2007

I'm such a dork!

My husband has worked in the media, and more specifically the music business, for quite some time. He has access to concerts, and meet and greets to most any show that rolls into town. This time he planned on taking me to Rod Stewart, who isn't one of my favorites but I know my husband really likes him. So I wanted to go to in order to give him a night out!

If you've read the last few blogs, you already know I've had an upper respitory thing going on. I'm coughing enough to make you cringe, and knew I wouldn't be good company for tonight's show. Long story short, he put an email out at his office to multiple departments to see if anyone wanted to go out with him to tonight's show.

The only respondant was a single, cute, young female that although is engaged to be married is still none the less...single. I completely trust my husband! I know he loves me and would never cheat on me, but it still made me uncomfortable that he'd be spending time with someone other than me. Now let me clarify, that if one of my female legally unattached friends wanted to go with him...I wouldn't care! But I didn't know this girl that wanted to go with my husband to hear Rod Stewart croon love songs! I am being a complete dork in feeling this way, but I was a little jealous!

I'm so lucky I have such a good natured husband. I told him how I felt and he chuckled, "Baby you're so cute!" He called his work friend back and told her he couldn't take her, which made me feel so much better.

I normally don't care where my husband goes, or who he's with, because I know he's in love with me and always comes home to me! But for some reason....I was a jealous female in spades today!

Tuesday, April 10, 2007

flattery will get you everwhere

As my previous post mentioned, I'm fighting the crud. It's working it's way out of my chest..thank the Lord! I have to go to a work lunch today with my boss and co-workers, and warned one of them on the phone today that I wouldn't be looking very good...especially when I'd have to hack up one lung.

My son piped up from the back seat of the car, "Oh mommy! You're always so pretty!"

That made my day...no it made my week! To have a kid, any kid, at that age, who is too young to know how to lie, tell you how pretty you are when you've got no make up on and feeling like crap is amazing. It was such an endearing moment that I had to call my husband after I dropped my son off to school. He listened and chuckled before saying, "See I've taught him well!"

Monday, April 09, 2007

The ego has already inflated

My son, who's four, has already become the expert on all things in this world. It must be a man thing...they think they know everything by the age of .... four, apparently.

Even though it's the beginning of spring and almost the middle of April, it's freezing here in Oklahoma. I'm coming down with a chest cold, and the weather feels like it's the middle of winter! It's horrible and I can't imagine why my son wants to go out in this weather at all. BUT...the other day he kept insisting that he get to go ride his bike around the driveway. "NO" just doesn't work at this age due to their intent drive to win any conversation. A four year old's goal is to get their own way come h--- or highwater.

After the fifth, "Mommy please! Can't I go ride my bike?", and my fifth, "NO. I told you it's too cold."
It got quiet and I thought I'd won the battle until this matter a fact voice came from my son's mouth with, "But Mommy, I'm smarter than you. I'd wear a coat!"

I almost lost it! It was the most funny thing he'd said in a couple of days. He's a pretty humorous kid, but that one was too funny not to laugh at.

Saturday, April 07, 2007

crossing over to my other blog for a second

I just wanted to make sure the readers of this blog, were aware of a little challenge I've posted at my other site, Daily Blessings. Please visit this link : http://blessed1.wordpress.com/2007/04/05/a-challenge-posted-for-all-bloggers/

I'll post just a little excerpt so you can get the jist of what it's about:

*****
Listening to the news on any given day, anyone can hear how dissatisfied most Americans are with the current economy, Presidency, modern day religion…well just about anything. I get so tired of hearing about what is wrong with our country, that I want to scream, “Can anyone tell me what is right? What is just? What is good?”

Can anyone explain to me what they’re happy about? If one person a day would focus on the good things in life, wouldn’t that ripple effect into someone else doing the same? Positivity can be contagious. We all know negativity is….so I propose for one week we try to do the opposite.

This Sunday is EASTER, the celebration of Christ’s rising from the dead. That certainly is a reason to celebrate for those of us in this world that believe. For those of you who don’t — I still challenge you to take Easter Sunday and start something positive.

CALLING ALL BLOGGERS—FOR ONE WHOLE WEEK STARTING THIS SUNDAY:

Post what you’re thankful for each day for 7 whole days…even if it’s something small. If you do this, link it back to my site: http://blessed1.wordpress.com/2007/04/05/a-challenge-posted-for-all-bloggers/

I’d like to track how many of you do this. I think you’d be amazed at how counting your blessings can lift your spirits and teach you to be truly thankful.

****

For those of you, who are up to the challenge...please take this on. It's not a game to get traffic, it's simply a way to spread some positive thinking. It's my gift of gratitude to you all.

Love in Christ to you all and may your blessings be counted!!!

Sunday, April 01, 2007

all grown up


My son's first day of children's church was today! He woke up with a start and ran into my room, yelling, "I get to wave palms today mom!" What a wonderful way to get introduced to big kids's church -- by walking through the service waving palms for Palm Sunday! It was so exciting for him and me too!

He normally never attended nursery, because 'that was for babies!' --and because weekends were reserved mommy and daddy time. He chose to be with us, and we didn't mind at all. We sat in the overflow area, instead of the sancuary for four long years. This was monumental in two ways today. Today my little one was so grown up and simply walked to his class without a look back, and mom and dad got to sit "IN" church and listen to a sermon. Hallelujah!

Today was a great day!

Pardon the palm over my son's face, but I never print his full face on my blogs....only a profile or a back shot. It's a privacy thing, that I'm sure you can appreciate.