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Monday, January 31, 2011

The Talk

So how do you prepare to have certain talks with your child as they grow up?  As a mother, I certainly never expected to have certain conversations by the age of 5, 6, and 7, but life experiences have a way of opening up a curious child's mind to loooots of questions.  And my motto is: 'If they're old enough to ask, they're old enough for the truth'.  For one thing, I'd rather my child know he can trust me for the little but pertinent questions as they pop up in life.  It will allow him to see that he can definitely count on me for the bigger stuff on life's highway...especially when it gets bumpy.  And it will!

SO about 8 moths ago, he asks me why our puppy needed to get fixed.  It was a simple enough question.  I responded that it was to keep her from having any unwanted babies.  He thought about it for a second and said, 'But mom if we keep her away from other dogs, why do we still need to get her fixed.  She won't have puppies if she's not around dogs right?"  (I could ignore this question and say he'd find out when he's older or I could approach it with the truth?)

Sooo ... we had the whole uterus talk and I compared it to a self cleaning oven.  And with this uterus, that cleans itself out - I said I didn't want to keep cleaning up after a puppy all over her carpet.  And I don't want to diaper our puppy to keep it clean.

What was his next thought?  You'd think that would be enough - right?  I would think any other kid would be grossed out and stop wondering.  Not my child!  He said, "Do all girls have a uterus?  All animals and ..."  Then he looked at me.  He wanted to know what I do when my self cleaning oven/uterus goes on a cleaning binge.  I confirmed my son's suspicions that yes, his mom, was a normal girl ... with a uterus.  Ick!

Aaaarggghh!  Where was his father?  How come all the hard questions that I get are when dad is conveniently not around?  (We'd already had the drugs/alcohol talk as one of my friend's teenager got a DUI and my son heard my comforting her over the phone.  When I hung up, he immediately wanted to know what at DUI was and what was this other kid drinking.)

That short bit of info about our puppy was enough to tide him over - until about a couple weeks ago.  He blurted out with, "Mom, where to babies come out?  Do doctors cut them out of the uterus?"  (shaking my head - of course dad was at work.)

I confirmed that some do get cut out.

His next question:  "Some?  What about the others?"  (me<---groaning)

I asked him to come sit down at the table. I had a feeling that this might be bigger than just a simple answer.  I didn't know how many questions would lead from this.  After we sat, I explained that the uterus had it's own chute that the baby came down and out.  He then wanted to know where it came out.  I answered politely and correct.  He asked how it would come out such a small area.  My answer?  Yeeeesh.

Here's what I said word for word:
"Honey God makes women's bodies very beautiful and complex.  The area it comes out of is like a rubber band that stretches very far out to allow for a baby to come out.  Then it goes back down small again to be normal."

He was amazed at that and agreed that God made us very special.  Then he sat in thought and blurted out, "That must have really hurt momma!"


Me - laughing: "Well what do you think?  Imagine squeezing something the size of a watermelon out of a pea sized hole."

He laughed and laughed.  This led to many more questions.   And I won't bore you with the infinite details but I will say that he then told me that he wouldn't have time for a wife and child, as he was going to go on special missions for the FBI and it wouldn't be fair to a family to be away for so long, with secretive missions.

I laughed and told him that I'd remind him of that when he was in his twenties and couldn't spare one more day without the one he would fall for...and it might happen again and again and again.  As he'd find out soon enough.

This led to more questions which I won't provide the banter for but I will just leave you with my seven year old's mind full of questions below.  Just know we had a very thoughtful heart to heart that I never saw us having at this age, and it showed me how blessed I am to have such a special son.

These questions progressed from here:

--Mom, how do I know when it's the one?
--How will I know if she's a Christian?
--What do I do if she's not?
--What happens when Christians marry someone who isn't a Christian?



How do you think you'd answer?

 I know how I did and I feel my son has a lot of information to spin for a while - until the next time he asks what his little inquiring mind wants to know.  I just pray God continues to bless me with the right answers.

Thankfully we've not had the sex talk yet! His dad better be home for that one!!!