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Encouraging Words

It's amazing when my 5-year-old comes home talking about the history behind MLK day. When I was in Kindergarten, we learned our color...

Monday, April 28, 2008

Some days...

Today was one of those days where even though you hold your head up high, the stress from the weeks past takes it's toll.

If you've been reading me at all, you know that my husband's work schedule has been more than crazy...mine too. Some days your body and mind just say enough!

I woke up today and I think if I had time, it would be a day I'd take just for me, but unfortunately I don't have the time. I writing this on the fly before I head out the door for full day of work calling on clients while still having some personal things to take care of.

To give you some background, yesterday was amazing and I will post on it another day this week...but I injured my knee twice in the same spot. The swelling has gone down today, but it left a very large contusion. It looks like two bruises that overlap eachother...well basically that's what it is.

Last night was the first night of full sleep I've had in 2 weeks, and what a blessing that was. I slept so hard that I didn't realize I was sleeping in an awkward position, so I woke up with my back cinched up.

After February's car accident it's a lot more sensitive and doesn't take much to throw out of whack. In result, I couldn't get ready as fast as I would on a normal day which means my make-up didn't get put on...my hair was scraggly as all I could do was dry it without styling it...and my clothes were just what I could grab in a pinch.

My son had some sensitive feelings on the way to dropping him off to school. I want chocolate milk...now I want a breakfast burrito. I was too tired to make him ask politely or reprimand him for speaking so rude. And I forgot to give him breakfast before leaving for his school...bad mom! So I stopped through two drive ins to appease him.

After rushing him to class, I checked in at the school office to sign him in. One of his classmates mothers was there and apparently said "hi" twice but I was to intent on focusing on the sign in sheet, struggling to lower my arm to write.

She said hi again, and not only was I embarrassed that I had ignored her but was even more so that she'd seen me looking so ragged. She looked amazing as all the mothers do there. Most of them don't have to work...they're stay at home moms with well off husbands. They spend their time volunteering at school. They're always 'put' together.

I, on the other hand, looked pretty rough. My eyes were puffier than I've ever noticed before (probably the lack of sleep), I was hobbling from my knee injury, and I couldn't turn my head very well due to my neck and back issues today. Compared to the rest of them, I looked like a hobo.

Next thing I know she said, "you have some food on your mouth." (from my son's breakfast burrito) She might have well have said, "you have egg all over your face!" Pun completely intended.

I wiped. I didn't get it b/c she told me it was still there.

"Here," she said. "Let me get that for you." She wiped my face like I was her five year old and my eyes started tearing up.

Seriously why did I have to start crying? I felt like a friggin' charity case and I hate it when I let myself get this way!!

I went to my car and kept crying....what is wrong with me today???

Saturday, April 26, 2008

My sweetness

I took a nap...I had too. I allowed my son to watch a movie that was PG for the first time, so you'd think I'd stay up to monitor as much as I've got on my soap box on this blog about kids and movies. I tried staying up to watch it with him, but my eyes just couldn't make it.

My husband's work schedule is always crazy, but lately it's more than that. Hmmm...this used to be about my wornoutness due to my schedule and now it's from his plus mine. My husband's erratic schedule has caused some interruptions in my sleep to say the least.

So when my son and I were on the soft comfy couch, the kind that sucks you in when you sit...it was too good to be true.

My five year old woke me up once to make him popcorn and it was like dragging a 100 pound weight to open my eyelids and even harder to make myself get up and walk to the kitchen.

After the movie was over, I woke up to silence. I didn't see my son anywhere and I wondered how long he'd been entertaining himself. I called for him and he came out of his room, where he was going through his toys to decide what to donate. (Of course he decided to keep them all.) I noticed a half eaten bag of popcorn laying behind my legs propped up against the pillows of the couch.

"Hey buddy, thanks for letting me sleep."
"Aww, no problem. You've been real good today mom. You deserved it. I even left you some popcorn to eat. You've been good, sweetie."

Awww...what a doll he is some days....most days. Even this morning at the ball park as I was taking pictures of him and his team mates, he reached his little arm through the chain link fence to rub my back. He whispered, "I love you mom," in the most tender voice.

I am a blessed woman.

Tuesday, April 22, 2008

Taking the plunge...

Okay so my family is heading to Hawaii, more specifically...Maui, in July for a family wedding.

I was raised on Oahu, so we're stopping over there first to see family I haven't seen since 1995. My son is the same age, 5 yrs, that I was when I lived there the first time. My auntie and uncle couldn't make to Oklahoma for my wedding, and haven't met my other half. So I can't wait to introduce them to my family and take tons of pics of my son in the same places I mugged at....like my school, St. Anthony's...a private Catholic school...the banyon tree in the park...etc. You get the point. It'll be nice to have some family time where I grew up.

We'll have a few days at my aunt's house, and then head to Maui to stay with my in-laws in a house off the beach before we see my brother in law get hitched to the most adorable girl. She's an amazing beautiful girl, who we all just love.

Here's my dilemma(other than finances). We're going to have hmmmm (counting in my head) 9 days over there....so yay I'm excited. But I don't want to (guys stop reading here if you're sensitive to girly stuff) have to deal with shaving and haven't ever gone for a wax in that area.

Where I come from waxing is what you do to a board before hitting the beach! Just how much does it hurt to get a bikini wax? I'm seriously contemplating taking the plunge and just can't imagine someone down there doing anything in full light except my OBGYN. What are the pro's and con's ladies???

Please do tell because I'm trying to make up my mind and your input will help me?

Wednesday, April 16, 2008

Bon Jovi ROCKS

bon jovi

I took this from my phone, so it's not the best quality but I couldn't resist posting anyway.

Vocally Jon sounded better than I remember, plus he's in great shape. The man never stopped for over 2 hours. He shook, rocked and rolled on stage while remembering his fans in every way.

I got a guitar pick from one of his staff members that roamed through the crowd, looking for certain individuals to ask to the stage. I guess I didn't have the look he was going for, because all night he stood right in front of me and picked people right around me to go to the sides of the stage, where they had risers set up for these individuals.

He gave them all these guitar picks...so I thought heck at least I can do is ask him if I can have an extra. He was gracious enough to give me one. I would have loved to go side stage...but my seats were so good that I felt as if I already was.

We were on the front row at the edge of the ice rink. So we were up one level from those on the floor, who have to fight to see over the heads of the crowd. I loved being able to just have my own show without fighting to see around anyone else. AND we were close enough that I could see the sweat gleaming off him. Yah...good seats.

Funny story about BON JOVI...I had a cardboard cut out of him when I was in college. Big hair and all...from his 'Slippery When Wet' look. I had stored my stuff in my grandma's attic during break, so JON went up in grandma's attic until I could have him back in my dorm again.

My grandmother passed away...so my mom, sister, and I were cleaning out her house. We left to go eat and take a break from cleaning her house out, and when we returned the front door was ajar. We just knew we locked it, so we called the cops to check it out before entering.

Long story short...the house was clear but the police officer almost wet himself after entering the dark attic with flash light and gun drawn. He scanned the large room and came across the bigger than life cardboard cut out and thought he'd caught a B&E in progress. When he realized his mistake he almost passed out.

He came down...gave us the all clear and made us laugh in a very sad time in our life. Although we had to say goodbye to all my grandmother's things and home, we always had BON JOVI to thank for the laughter through the pain.

I don't know what happened to that cut out, but I do know that BON JOVI's music always will always be around. He's one that never goes out of style. He evolves through each rock era and preforms brilliantly, while never forgetting his fans!

Tuesday, April 15, 2008

Goodbye Larry

Yesterday Larry Lee Lenson, my son's hermit crab, passed on. My son went to the bathroom, where Larry's cage sits, to fill the sink with bottled water for his bath and noticed that he was 'dangly'.

He carried Larry to me saying, "Mommy his legs dangling funny."

Well his little hermit crab body had fallen apart and part of him was still in the cage and the rest of him was in his shell, part way out. I quickly took him from my son, and tried to hide the part of him in his cage with the water sponge. I didn't want to totally traumatize my little boy. It was obvious to us both he was dead.

What do you say except the truth in this type of instance? He asked me what was happening to his crab, and I wasn't going to lie. I gave him the truth...that Larry's heart stopped beating and he in fact was dead. Although my son takes everything in stride he is still such an extremely compassionate little guy. I knew he was internalizing it all instead of showing how he felt right off.

He asked if Larry got stuck in his shell and that's why he died...I responded the only way I knew how. "Maybe honey but Larry's in heaven now so he's not suffering." And of course I got....yah...you got it:

"No mom...Larry's not in heaven...He's right there in his cage!"

I explained that what makes someone inside...their spirit...their soul...well that never stops even though their heart does. And that part of them...their spirit goes to live in heaven.

My son started to cry but stopped himself before crying too much. He decided to putt golf balls down his green, set up in the living room, to make him feel better. I was told he didn't want to talk about it anymore and all he wanted to do was play golf so he'd feel happy. He brought it up a couple more times during golf, and he then decided we weren't to talk about Larry anymore.

Today I knew I'd get reports from my mom as my son let little bits and pieces out about how he felt. She called to tell me that he said it was the worst day he has ever had in his life, but that he was happy our dog was still with us. Our dog, Hershey, almost got put down last month. I'm so thankful now that I made the call to keep Hershey a little longer. I just didn't feel it was his time yet. My son kept telling my mom that Larry was in heaven, but Hershey was doing much better and still lived with us. That seemed to be his saving grace...thank goodness. It was something good for him to hold onto.

It broke my heart yesterday to see him cry like that. I tried to comfort him, but he had to work it out on his own. I learned something about my son yesterday. He wants to be alone when he's that sad. He's the kind that has to sort it independently, and then move on.

I learned that he's a lot like me in that way. I guess things like that are just genetically ingrained in you. It's so odd that he handles the big stuff just like me, when I've not taught him a life lesson in dealing with any of it. I used to come home from school and sit in my closet to deal with whatever was ailing my heart, and when I'd come out my mom always knew I'd be okay. My son seems to handle it the same way.

Ohh.. and my son called me from my mom's not too long ago to tell me that he and Nana went to PETCO today. They came back with a new hermit crab, AND he named it Larry.

Saturday, April 12, 2008

A sigh for today

This morning both my son's soccer and T-ball games were canceled due to the torrential downpour we've had this week. The skies are finally clear but the fields aren't.

My husband had some early morning errands this morning, so it was just me and my son at home. Around 6:30 a.m. I heard him shuffle into the bathroom to go pee, and then he shuffled on down to my room. My son's never been one, knock on wood, to crawl in our bed at night or sleep with us...but every once in a while if it's early morning he'll just want to finish that last hour of sleep with us.

Today was one of those days. He crawled up on my side, even though my husband's side was empty. We have a huge King bed, but my son crossed the room to the side, where I occupied to crawl over me. He's always got to have contact. He's the baby that when he first popped out, and the doctor layed him on my chest...he instantly just nuzzled. He loves to nuzzle and snuggle.

This morning was no exception. He crawled over me, layed as close to me as he could which resulted in me almost falling off my side of this huge bed. For an hour he slept with either his leg thrown over me, his arm wrapped around my head, or just his foot or hand simply placed on my side. He just needs to know I'm there.

I sigh right now thinking about it. How is it that a child's simple gesture of love makes everything okay? When I'm having a really tough day, all it takes is one of his hugs and everything gets put in perspective.

God gave me such an amazing gift in my son. He's my fix all. Well, they both are.

Wednesday, April 09, 2008

Wordless Wednesday...with a few words

This time of year has hints of spring, and then the cold weather and the tornadoes storm in. Right now it's stormy with threats of tornadoes, so I manipulated this nice spring sunset to show signs of storms in play.

This was taken at Lake Hefner in OKC, which is one of my favorite places at sunset.

Saturday, April 05, 2008

Official start of MY Spring

Today is the day. My son gets to meet his Soccer coach and his T-ball coach this morning! It doesn't quite feel like Spring until he's in his soccer jersey running the field, well that and the frigid weather makes it not so springy. Is that a word?

I think it's going to be better for me than him. Being cooped over the winter was harder than usual this year, because he's gained another year and not as easily entertained.

I can't just put a toy in front of him and expect him to marvel, like he did when he was tiny. Now it's whining, "I want to doooo something" or "when can we go outside?"
When that doesn't produce anything fun, it becomes silly name calling or crying fits out of boredom to push my buttons.

What he doesn't realize is that the silly name calling gets to me worse.

"Hey Mrs. Jiggly Pens...whatcha doing?" What the?
A) What kind of name is that? and
B)'NO woman wants to be called Jiggly anything!

So today I wake up in peace, yawn, and feel that Spring has sprung. I get to watch my sun run and play 2 days a week, while I sit and admire.