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Friday, April 27, 2007

Goals for Motherhood

Getting tagged is always fun, if I've got the time to respond. Terri Terri Quite Contrary challenged me to list my top goals for my life. Although I had already done this on my other site, it was mostly my personal goals. I think it's great to have separate goals in life. Goals that define me as a person, an employee, a mother, a wife...etc. My other site, Daily Blessings, focused on my personal goals. This time I think I should focus on my goals to being a better mother.

A friend of mine asked me to share what I loved most about being a mom in one of her discussions online. She had some 'friends' in a chat that we're all mothers, and feeling a major sense of loss due to their stress of being a mom. They'd lost their personal time, they'd lost their figures and minds, and they'd lost a sense of self.
Here's what I listed in reply to her request of a little encouragement to pass along:

"Motherhood is my calling! You've read my posts before, enough to know how serious I take the task of raising my child. It's the most fulfilling thing I've ever gone through...that part of me that always wondered, 'what am I supposed to do in life? How will I make my mark?', has been answered. Being a mother has been a gift of joy, stress, sleepless nights and I'm sure many more to come, abounding love, pride, accomplishment, and major adventure. It's the best thing on earth...every day is new and those kids look to us to make it fun and full of energy for them. They look to us to teach and guide them. They look to us for encouragement and discipline....for boundaries.

Now don't get me wrong...every woman and mom are different. Just because I'm completely satisfied in my position, doesn't mean I expect every other mother to be. It does mean I don't understand how they could focus on the negative vs. reveling in the positives...however maybe it will take people like you, Kat, to teach them the difference. We all lose some things...like our shapes, our social schedules, our independent time/quiet time, our flashy wardrobes/looks, or anything else one might think is a 'loss'. Oh...and sometimes our sanity! LOL....but you have to lose something to understand how sweet the gains are in life. The gains are those adorable little eyes that look up to ours, expecting a solid mom, with unconditional love. The gains are those little hearts that learn what love is by the example we set in their lives. The gains are the honor of being called, "MOMMY!"

These women, may feel loss...I acknowledge that....but maybe they need to redirect their focus on what the gains are. They should try it one day at a time....it might make the world to their children...isn't that what counts?"

What does this post have to do with my goals?


1. To never feel like a desperate mom, in need of escape from my child or my position in life. My goal is to be the best mom I can be, while still balancing my personal time. It's important to stay sane for my child and family. My goal is to keep something for me, whether it be yoga or the gym, my writing/photography, or a good book! Having some time to center, will make me a more balanced person which will enable me to be the best mom I can be...FOCUSED, DRIVEN, LOVING, AND UNCONDITIONAL!

2. To get my son back into swimming lessons after soccer is over. We started this past winter, and it was only a 6 week course at the Y. He got sick and we only attended a few weeks of lessons. My in-laws have a pool, which makes me more than a little uncomfortable knowing my son can't swim on his own yet. He's a fish, but only with a aid from me or his dad. Swim lessons are paramount!

3. To pick my battles better. Everything doesn't have to be a "NO". I love having fun with my son, but some days when my patience may be thinner than others...a no will pop out sooner than a yes. On those days, when he wants to do something I'm not patient enough for, I need to stop, breathe, and think about what's best for him...not for me.

4. To help him fall asleep on his own!
I never did the Dr. Ferber method of getting my little one to sleep at night. His reflux was so bad our pediatrician told us to lay him in an infact carrier to sleep, to keep him elevated. He ended up gagging on his own spit up, and from there we were instructed to lay him on my chest at night. We were supposed to keep him at an angle to keep him from choking. I leaned back on pillows, and propped additional pillows under my arms to prevent from moving at night. He got used to my heartbeat and smell a lot longer than most babies should. Due to this, he still needs me to lay next to him and cuddle to get to sleep. My goal is to have him falling asleep on his own by the time he's 4 1/2!

5. To donate all his old baby toys and consolidate his room. There's always so much crap that one mom can have in one room at a time. My last goal is to get rid of everything he doesn't need anymore and set it on my porch for Salvation Army.

So who do I tag with this fun task of listing their goals:
A not so deperate housewife
That Mommy
Work at Home Mom Revolution
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