Sex and marriage
Rebecca over at 'A Not so Desperate Housewife' wrote a blog about keeping the romance alive in one's marriage, and it got me thinking...
What about keeping the sex drive alive?
Although I feel my husband is very romantic and tries really hard to please me, when it comes to advancing to the bedroom more could be done to romance me. Romancing a relationship or a heart is completely different than getting a woman in the mood.
Do most men know what things please a woman? Don't get me wrong, my husband knows what he's doing once we're there. It's always a WOW (and I don't mean a WornOutWoman moment)! It's a WOW...that was a great moment. But what about getting a woman to that point?
Any man can pick up a book or google to read a blog about female erogenous zones. It's a great overview of the woman's body and what might make them tick. But guys, what about YOUR woman? Each of us is different!
Just grabbing for our breast or rubbing between our legs, while driving home isn't good foreplay! We all know men like boobs....but grabbing for them isn't what does it for 99% of women.
Ladies, if you feel you're in this boat, talk to your man. Don't be afraid to tell him what gets your motor humming. Ask him to focus on your favorite body parts instead of his!
And then in turn...to be fair-ask him what turns him on. The idea that you want to please him just as much will excite him. He'll know you're really invested in making your love life the best it can be. Let's face it, men need physical reassurance more than women. Just rubbing up against him can set him off, but our orgasms are triggered by our own minds and emotions. Not to burst anyone's bubble here guys, but our complete satisfaction starts with how we 'feel' about you and ourselves in our own mind.
Talking about sex is so taboo for most people and I just felt the need to post this for some odd reason.
Anyone have anything else to add?
What about keeping the sex drive alive?
Although I feel my husband is very romantic and tries really hard to please me, when it comes to advancing to the bedroom more could be done to romance me. Romancing a relationship or a heart is completely different than getting a woman in the mood.
Do most men know what things please a woman? Don't get me wrong, my husband knows what he's doing once we're there. It's always a WOW (and I don't mean a WornOutWoman moment)! It's a WOW...that was a great moment. But what about getting a woman to that point?
Any man can pick up a book or google to read a blog about female erogenous zones. It's a great overview of the woman's body and what might make them tick. But guys, what about YOUR woman? Each of us is different!
Just grabbing for our breast or rubbing between our legs, while driving home isn't good foreplay! We all know men like boobs....but grabbing for them isn't what does it for 99% of women.
Ladies, if you feel you're in this boat, talk to your man. Don't be afraid to tell him what gets your motor humming. Ask him to focus on your favorite body parts instead of his!
And then in turn...to be fair-ask him what turns him on. The idea that you want to please him just as much will excite him. He'll know you're really invested in making your love life the best it can be. Let's face it, men need physical reassurance more than women. Just rubbing up against him can set him off, but our orgasms are triggered by our own minds and emotions. Not to burst anyone's bubble here guys, but our complete satisfaction starts with how we 'feel' about you and ourselves in our own mind.
Talking about sex is so taboo for most people and I just felt the need to post this for some odd reason.
Anyone have anything else to add?
Comments
Some women are like starting a diesel engine on a cold morning. The next time, bam!
I say it's not the mans fault...women are wired far too complicated.
Many of us women are ashamed of our body's. We hate that pouch we now have that was once known as the previous address of our children. Stretch marks, cellulite etc. The list goes on and on. Therefore many woman shy away from sex b/c they are embarrassed of their bodies. Withholding sex from your husbands is a giant NO NO as men NEED sex. That's the way God made them! So, sometime men seek elsewhere to have their needs met and then so begins trouble in the marriage.
Ladies, your husbands love you just the way you are! Kangaroo pouch and all!! After all, you didn't get that pouch all by yourself did you? Cellulite maybe...but anyway, seriously! Stop being so tied up in how you feel and start to be a partner in your marriage more specifically your sex life. Sex IS a big part of a healthy marriage. Work on getting your body in better shape but in the mean time just be comfortable with your hubby. Besides that...think about it this way...if your husband put on a few extra pounds over the years and many have...you would not all of a sudden not want to have sex with him! Sex is not only physical, it's highly emotional and when you love someone (and are married to them) you want to show that love in a sexual way regardless of body image.
Sorry for the rant. I had just been thinking about that today about how many women sabatoge their own marriage by being selfish about this type of thing.
Thanks for the platform and GREAT post!!!
If he's not doing it right... I'm like hey yo this is not working for me.
Communication is key.
Good post.
and Reggie...I agree most women don't know what they want.
This post was directed to women who 'have' figured it out, who want to communicate it to their partner. And I say this with a genuine spirit...if you'll note I encouraged the women to make sure they asked what turned on their man too...to make sure the guy's needs are also being met.
Thank you to all of you who have posted...
Thank you for your honesty and lack of pretention!
Yeah...pretentious, I'm not! Random, I am!