Skip to main content

No, Dude! I Really Don't Want to See That!

Yesterday was one for the books ... 

I was in a meeting with a sales manager at a car dealership, which was almost coming to a close when someone from the lobby alerted the manager that someone had driven up on the lot.  From the look on his face, I could tell that whoever this person was - was not exactly welcome.

He promptly apologized and excused himself so that he could deal with the person we'll call 'Dude'.  Within seconds I heard Dude and could tell that he was high maintenance from the commotion in the lobby.  He had not only shown up in a test drive truck but had a ton of his belongings inside and a trailer hitched to the back.

Patiently, I waited inside hoping that whatever went down wouldn't be a 'situation' as the energy felt in the dealership was a bit heightened.

A few minutes later, the manager returned to process a paperwork for Dude when Dude stepped into the inner office for a quick question.  I smelled him before I saw him as smoke rolled in like waves.

When he saw me sitting inside, it was like I was the flame to his inner-moth and Dude went from drama-dude to offer your rocker crazy.  Dude proceeded to dump all his belongings in my lap and said, "Hold this sweetheart."

I stared at the prison orange stained sweatshirt and some personal papers in my lap with shock as he proceeded to empty his pockets to drop his keys there too.  My first instinct was to dump them onto the floor but this was a business environment and I didn't want to make it hard for the general manager across from me, who was trying to process paperwork faster than I'd ever seen anyone in my life.  I could tell he wanted this guy to leave more than I did.

Just when I thought I'd seen it all, DUDE slipped a small tube of lotion from a pocket, opened up his shirt, and exposed his chest.  Then, he lowered himself so he was only inches from my face so he could rub lotion on a tattoo, saying, "Do you see my tattoo?"

Imagine me - blinking - and trying not to either punch this guy in the throat or knee him in the groin as I search for the exit, which he was promptly blocking.  I had no way out and I was trapped in a chair sitting beneath DUDE and his ginormous and crazy ego.

I thought that would be the end of it, but I guess he didn't get the response he wanted from me as I thoroughly ignored him.  Because he then took off his ball cap and leaned over to rub his almost bald head in my face, saying, "See my prison haircut? You like it?"

I responded with, "That's a high and tight, sir."  
"Oh, it's a prison cut."

I'm thinking to myself - and you probably know first hand.

DUDE proceeds to start digging in his pants, saying, "You want to see something?"

And all I can think of is - Dear God, please don't let him expose himself any further.

Relief washes over me as he pulls out his driver's license saying, "I just got this cut two days ago.  Look what I used to look like here!"  He points to the picture of him with a heavy beard and shaggy hair.  

I narrow my eyes at the picture and glance to his face, saying, "Your eyes are the same and I'd be able to recognize you anywhere."
My intent was - I could pick you out of a line-up, Dude. So back off!!!

However, subtle flys right over DUDE's head.

He leans in once more and talks about what a warm heart I must have, to which I respond, "No, not all the time."

While my responses were limited and not at all inviting - Dude goes further and begins to tell me his life story.  All I can think about is getting this lotion-rubbing, exposed guy away from me. 

Finally, the manager handed Dude some extra paperwork and gave him a polite send off just before turning to me with an apology and a bottle of sanitizer, which I generously slathered on my hands.

By the time I left - I was more than ready for someone get me a wire scrub brush and a can of bleach so I could scrape my eyes free and cleanse my mind of the image of him rubbing himself down with his beady eyes and wide creepy grin.

All this being said - why does a man think a lady needs to see any of that?

Needless to say - I made sure he was long gone before I walked to my car and drove away.

Be careful out there ladies ...







Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Voting is like a PBJ

So, yesterday was voting day for many offices like County Clerk and Congress.   I always want to educate myself on the many issues and campaign trailblazers so I can make my voice count.  Voting is our God-given right which wasn't even acknowledged by our nation until the women's suffrage movement.  Many of our great - great grandmothers met, marched, and went on strike to strive for the right to vote.
When I hear anyone I come in contact with say that due the fact that they don't like anyone on the ballot they're not going to vote - it blows my mind!  We are blessed with that privilege!  And even if you don't like anyone, to not vote is still casting a vote because your voice isn't heard.  
Think of it like this:   What if there was only a choice between peanut butter or jelly - and the popular vote would bring to light what we're allowed to eat.   If you say, 'Well, I don't like either, so it doesn't matter!'  Then you choose not to vote.…

Brian Naranjo - A Celebrated Man

It's Saturday...

It's Saturday, and at this very moment a few hundred miles north of me, my friend is grieving the loss of her husband.

It's Saturday and this week has felt like an eternity.  I've moved through this week with such a heavy heart.

And I feel guilty for being trapped in this fog of sorrow, as I'm not the one who lost my life long partner of over 20 years. I'm not the one who just got my husband back from Afghanistan, only to lose him to an unexpected death.


I can not fathom how my friend is coping, walking step by step through the process of burying her soul mate at the tender young age of 39.

Brian Naranjo would have been 40 years old on February 29th, 2012. Brian Naranjo would have his whole life ahead of him.  He would have been celebrating a marquis year, when you're supposed to reflect on where you've come and what you have left to do. 

In reading his Facebook wall, as I'm inexplicably drawn to it, I've read the many memo…

Undercover Boss Eye Opener

This past week I watched Undercover Boss, which featured Retro Fitness and one employee in particular, who got fired.  Normally Undercover Boss shows a few employees, with great stories and good work ethic, and sometimes there may be a few problem employees.

In this last issue, it seems all anyone is talking about is that one problem employee, named Jacqueline, who was a shining example of what bad attitudes are really about, and was about as bad as they come.

Jacqueline, who on the outside, seemed like a clean cut decent person until she opened her mouth to speak.  And this girl wasn't just rude ... she was abusive to everyone around her. 

As if it wasn't bad enough that she was completely unprofessional and had no compassion for anyone around her at work ... she then turned into the flippant, defensive, careless girl, who talked back to the CEO of the company when he tried to explain his grievances with her.  She passionately denied anything he was trying to explain to her, …