As a parent, I try to be proactive with certain conversations, like sex, as my child is getting older. I'd rather him hear from his father and myself, than at recess, from his peers, like I did (at a whole younger age than he is).
Sex is something that can and will be skewed by his peers' perceptions, based on how it was told to them (by their parents or a peer) and by what they see in the media. There are a whole lot of confusing messages out there, and I don't want my kid lost in the shuffle.
However, that being said ... I don't want to bring something up that he's not prepared for either. So treading lightly is a good thing, as I introduce the subject. That may not be every parent's perspective ... but it's mine.
Every child needs to have the talk, but each child is so different and when they're ready for the talk will vary on their social circumstances and their mental capacity to understand.
Last week, we were sitting at church with another family. Their son and mine are best friends. They were chatting incessantly and laughing, like I'd never seen before. I wondered what was so funny, and was happy he was having a good time.
I remember smiling down at him and thinking how beautiful his smile was when he was this happy. The next thing I know I hear both boys use the word, 'sex'.
My head snapped over to meet mom's gaze, and our eyes went wide. They're talking about sex ... okay. All I could think of is that it was time for the talk and I hope I didn't miss my window.
So I waited a couple days, to figure out how to bring it up without making it a bigger deal than it was. As we were driving this week, I thought I'd casually bring it up. Here's how it went...
Me: So I heard you and your friend talking about sex the other night at church ... (pausing to let my son take it from there)
Me: (hoping he would clarify and thinking quick what do I say next??) What was so funny?
Kiddo: Oh, we were counting in Latin and six in Latin is spelled, s - e - x. It's pronounced with a soft 'e' so it sounds different than the word sex, but we were saying sex for six and laughing.
Me: I didn't know that. So? ... Anyone else talk about sex at school?
Kiddo: Yeah. People talk about it alllllll the time!
Me: Really? What do they say about it?
Kiddo: I have no idea. I just know they talk about it.
Me: Older kids, like fifth grade? (my son's in fourth)
Kiddo: Well, actually the third graders mom!
Me: (almost wrecking my car) What? The third graders are talking about sex?
Kiddo: Well, duh mom! That's when they learn Latin in our school - and they learn their numbers!
Me: (Laughing like crazy before continuing on) Okay, well that makes sense. But ... you know daddy and I have a lot of wisdom on any subject. So if the topic of sex comes up again, you know you can come to us right? Like if something is said that you don't understand?
Kiddo: Of course.
I'm still giggling that he had no clue what I was talking about. We were obviously on two very different planes.
I know the real 'talk' is coming very soon. But atleast I've bridged the gap and planted the seed with my kid. So next time - when it's a sit down talk with his father and I - he won't be too unprepared to have the sex talk.
Kids crack me up!!!
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