Skip to main content

12 years ago





Tonight as I type, I look back to where I was 12 years ago at this moment.  I had just married a wonderful guy, who swept me off my feet and we were dancing to our favorite band.  It makes me smile to think how far we've come in such a short time.  I was blissfully happy and knew we'd have a beautiful life together. 

However within months of our marriage, I almost lost my sweet husband.  Due to a sudden on-set of food allergies (which happens to adults sometimes), he had an anaphylactic attack, flat lined, and was non-responsive in my car.  At this time, we were unaware of the cause of his issues.  All I knew is that my new husband was no longer breathing and it was up to me to figure it out.

I remember driving wildly through and into oncoming traffic, to beat the clock and make it to the ER to save him.  I remember having flashes of a future that played before my eyes, like a film, of the family we would never have... the golden years we'd never share.  God preformed a miracle for me that day and saved my husband.  We got to the hospital with seconds to spare, before it would have been too late.

In the years that would follow, we learned what to avoid in my husband's diet to keep him from having anphylaxis.  My DH had a couple more minor attacks in the next year, to which I recognized the pre-cursers and got him to hospital in time before his airways shut off. 

Each time we went to the hospital, my anxiety rose.  It was tough seeing his body go through it and it felt like I was going to lose him all over again.  When we finally finished testing, and learned what to stay away from - I monitored every bite he took ... every breathe he drew in.  If he closed his eyes suddenly, I thought he'd passed out and I'd shake him asking, "Are you okay?"

I felt more like his monitor in many ways, and he learned to be very patient with me.  Looking back, I know it was frustrating for him having me hover over him but he let me have my worried moments, taking care of him.  He was and is a good man.  We learned for better or worse very early on in our marriage.  And my DH learned how to handle me...with care.  I was more fragile than he was.

Eventually we found our pace again...a normal one.  My anxiety fell away, and we had our strict diet in place to keep my husband on track.  A few years later we had a child (who also had severe food allergies), and learned a whole new level to what life was really about.  I remember the second he was born, looking at those big brown eyes and then hearing my husband ... he was crying.  His tears of joy and look of love for his son hit me ... This  was so much bigger than anything we'd ever known, and no one can truly can prepare you for it.  It's just something you know you're destined for once it happens. 

It was then that I reflected on those 'flashes' I experienced in the dark moments when my husband was not breathing in my car.  We had a child.  We'd made it through and now had such a bigger purpose.  It was no longer about us, but now about the three of us and our responsibility to raise a person - our child.

Now the three of us our on our family vaca in Branson...and it's our 12th wedding anniversary.  I can't believe how fast time flies and how much we've experienced in life.  I'm so grateful to God that he spared my husband's life and gave me a wonderful marriage and child.

I'm feeling very blessed tonight. 

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Voting is like a PBJ

So, yesterday was voting day for many offices like County Clerk and Congress.   I always want to educate myself on the many issues and campaign trailblazers so I can make my voice count.  Voting is our God-given right which wasn't even acknowledged by our nation until the women's suffrage movement.  Many of our great - great grandmothers met, marched, and went on strike to strive for the right to vote.
When I hear anyone I come in contact with say that due the fact that they don't like anyone on the ballot they're not going to vote - it blows my mind!  We are blessed with that privilege!  And even if you don't like anyone, to not vote is still casting a vote because your voice isn't heard.  
Think of it like this:   What if there was only a choice between peanut butter or jelly - and the popular vote would bring to light what we're allowed to eat.   If you say, 'Well, I don't like either, so it doesn't matter!'  Then you choose not to vote.…

Brian Naranjo - A Celebrated Man

It's Saturday...

It's Saturday, and at this very moment a few hundred miles north of me, my friend is grieving the loss of her husband.

It's Saturday and this week has felt like an eternity.  I've moved through this week with such a heavy heart.

And I feel guilty for being trapped in this fog of sorrow, as I'm not the one who lost my life long partner of over 20 years. I'm not the one who just got my husband back from Afghanistan, only to lose him to an unexpected death.


I can not fathom how my friend is coping, walking step by step through the process of burying her soul mate at the tender young age of 39.

Brian Naranjo would have been 40 years old on February 29th, 2012. Brian Naranjo would have his whole life ahead of him.  He would have been celebrating a marquis year, when you're supposed to reflect on where you've come and what you have left to do. 

In reading his Facebook wall, as I'm inexplicably drawn to it, I've read the many memo…

Undercover Boss Eye Opener

This past week I watched Undercover Boss, which featured Retro Fitness and one employee in particular, who got fired.  Normally Undercover Boss shows a few employees, with great stories and good work ethic, and sometimes there may be a few problem employees.

In this last issue, it seems all anyone is talking about is that one problem employee, named Jacqueline, who was a shining example of what bad attitudes are really about, and was about as bad as they come.

Jacqueline, who on the outside, seemed like a clean cut decent person until she opened her mouth to speak.  And this girl wasn't just rude ... she was abusive to everyone around her. 

As if it wasn't bad enough that she was completely unprofessional and had no compassion for anyone around her at work ... she then turned into the flippant, defensive, careless girl, who talked back to the CEO of the company when he tried to explain his grievances with her.  She passionately denied anything he was trying to explain to her, …