I'm getting old fast

So I found a lump about two weeks ago. A pretty substantially sized lump and it kinda freaked me out. I've only recently started doing self-exams in the last couple of years, and I'll admit I'm not as vigilant as I should be.

For the last six months, one breast has been really tender to where I can't even sleep on one side at night. I've always heard cancer doesn't hurt, so I wasn't too concerned about it being the big C. But I have to admit when I found that lump I was so sick to my stomach that I slid to sit in the shower.

After a few moments, I stood to wash my hair washed and cleaned enough to get out and dry off with a towel. All the while, my stomach was in a lurch and my hands were shaky.

About an hour later, I snapped out of it. I was going to be okay. After all, it was just a little lump. I prayed over it and started the day with determination, not worrying about anything I couldn't control. After handing it to God, I knew it was in great hands and whatever was the outcome I'd be taken care of.

The next day God practically told me that it wasn't cancer. I was playing with my son, and it was as if he literally told me, 'You have a son to raise and that's your job here. You're not going anywhere.'

A week and a half later I finally got into my OBGYN for an appointment. He went through the standard exam. You have to know I'm squeamish being in his office anyways...let alone a breast exam. I'm ticklish. He confirmed my lump by saying, 'Yes, I feel that one. Let's try the other one.'

I breathe in and brace myself for round two.

'Oh yes, and I feel multiple ones over in this one.'

What? WT? I wasn't expecting more. Again a little shaken - but I clung to the promise God gave me.

He wrote my work order for the breast center, and checked the appropriate boxes and sent me on my way with - 'Well, hopefully, I won't be seeing you again for a year. Once I get their report I'll let you know.'

OK - thanks for that doc. I appreciate the reassurance.

Once I started down the doctor's hallway for the exit, a nurse gave me puppy dog eyes and said, "Honey, are you gonna be okay?"

"Yeah, I'm not scared." --- Why? I thought. Should I be????

My next appointment was for four days out. To make a long story short, I had to wait a long time to get a diagnosis. Again I had reassurance it wouldn't be cancer as it was tender, and I was riddled with cysts. That's not typically cancer. BUT to finally have a diagnosis was like a huge breathe of fresh air...just very cleansing.

I suffer from fibrocystic tumors. My breasts weren't even readable with a mammogram. The tissue was so dense, you couldn't see through them. With an ultrasound, they confirmed that I'm riddled with cysts through both breasts and throughout the chest wall.

A bunch of pea-sized and larger bumps that will be there forever that are very tender, causing me issues through most of the month. If they become bigger, they'll need to be lanced or drained with a needle.

So the moral of the story?

Stay away from caffiene -- which I never intake anyway. I drink water, juice or white 2% milk at all times. I do chocolate once a month for a few days. I don't take in caffeine with any products either, like energy drinks.

So for me, I just continue dealing with the pain as it's very manageable all but one week of the month and pray I don't get any enlarged cysts as I HATE NEEDLES!!!

Oh, and I wonder if I can get a doctor's note to ask for a 'hands off' period for my husband? Hmmmmm........

I think I'm getting old!

Comments

Rebecca said…
that waiting time must have been so scary, the unknown. i'm so glad you got a better result and hope that you can find some comfort.
terri said…
Whew! So glad to hear it's not cancer. I can imagine how scary those first moments must have been.
Kimberly McKay said…
The more I read on line...the more interesting it seems. I'm so glad I'm okay too. Although I knew I would be.
Jen E said…
The waiting is always soooo scary!! I, too have fibrocystic breasts and went through a similar ordeal. So glad you are ok!
Huzaifa said…
well i read out the complete post, and really it was ridiculous to read between the lines and a sense of relief at the end that u r not having any C.

have a nice time on earth with your kid.
Kimberly McKay said…
Thanks so much. I'm glad it's all good too. :)
Unknown said…
Wow! Great witness for the Lord! Thanks for sharing! Would Omega 3's help? They are supposed to be great for soothing inflammation!
Kimberly McKay said…
Omega 3s would be good...I'll try it. Thanks Barbi.

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