This woman has one of the biggest hearts and doesn't have a perverse bone in her body. That being said she's not one to use foul language. I think THE ONLY time I've heard her curse was when I started driving, and I pulled out in front of a fast oncoming car. Something big popped out of her mouth, to both of our surprise and it sent me into laughing fits.
A couple of weeks ago, I dropped my son off so I could work for a few hours. As I sit in her perfectly arranged and pristine home, I noticed that some water had fled one of her plants. This water had spread out on half her glass top dining room table, and was threatening to spill over it's ridge onto the very expensive dining room chairs, which have silk cushions.
"Hey Mom ... what's that water doing?"
"What? What water?"
(pointing to her table, as my son sat in my lap)
"Oh my goodness...I must have over watered my plant."
(She lifts the bottom of her plant to inspect - then sets it down into the plate below again.)
My mother then promptly lifted the whole small planter, with the bottom plate held firm under the pot. Water promptly came pouring from the plate below and onto everything below (except - thank goodness - the dining room chairs), and my mother again surprised me with her knowledge of the human language.
Keep in mind my 6 year old has never heard many bad words, as our family isn't one that curses...and certainly not from his Nana. So I came up with a quick cover.
"Did you hear that baby? Nana said, 'O'Cean!' because that water was like an ocean pouring out of that plant."
He started laughing hard b/c Nana is always funny. Now everything he sees with water he yells, "Hey Nana! Look - OOO'Cean!" She looks at me with disdain and I start laughing.
"Hey Mom...if you don't want to be teased - you shouldn't have said it!" And I giggle again.
My mother is not amused! But I am!
So to all you out there - when you're having a rough day - just remember: