When I started this blog it was to express the frustrations involved when you have to work, and still balance being a mom. I worked a 8-5 job, that left no room for kids and their schedules. I had 3 sleep disorders which just seemed to aggravate the work situation as well.
Life was fine as a professional woman, until I became a mom. The very first week I returned from maternity leave, I faced a female boss, who resented women that had children. As she couldn't have any, her mission was to punish those who could. She took me out of my outside sales territory, that was near my son's day care and put me in a far south territory, that held lower income areas and much further distances for breastfeeding. Instead of being 15 miles from my child for a lunch break, I was 50+ miles.
So not only did I put more miles on my car, but by the time I was ready to breast feed or pump...I either had to pull over in 'the hood' to pump and hope no one would walk up and see me...or pray a trucker didn't drive by and look down for a looksie. It was either that or drive 50 extra miles, to get to my son, which left me so engorged...I couldn't steer or move. She thought this daily grind would make me quit. IT didn't!
I got a new boss soon, thank the Lord! But the environment still wasn't ideal for mommy-hood. I had to be there too early and stay too late. We had meetings before work and after work. I knew when school started in a few years, I'd have to find another job that allowed me to drop him to school and then get to work.
This schedule left me worn out and frustrated, because by the time I picked up my little angel I wasn't the mom I needed to be. I wasn't rested and ready to play. I wasn't patient and forgiving of hyperness. I wasn't easy going or laid back. I was all of the opposites. I was a wornoutwoman, who needed to make a better life for her son.
When my son turned 3, I knew things had to change. I took steps to make sure I had time for him...by taking a work from home job. Unfortunately, it has since changed to an office position. I recently left that job b/c I couldn't keep the schedule of a mommy, as I was promised when I started. I want to do what ever I can - not to earn my name, wornoutwoman. I want to give my son a better environment than that. I want a better me than that.
Because I've been out of work for a month I'm so relaxed. I've slept and slept in with my son. So for the moment I'm thankful that I'm all but wornoutwoman. Even though I'm more rested, I still can't give up my moniker. I've grown to love it too much. Not only because it fit me for so long, and may again someday (hopefully not). But because it represents ALL women and men, who struggle with the balance of work and family.
I applaud all of you, whether you're full time working or stay at home parents. You, who do what you can to make your children's life a better place, are truly the ones who deserve any support out their to give.
Unfortunately there's not many places that support working or stay at home parents. Corporate America hasn't found out that mommies work hard to provide for their babies...and maybe they should cater to them instead of punish them. Some companies won't admit it...but they're harder on mom's than any other because of kids who get sick...because of kids who have doctor's appointments...because of kid's who have to get to school. I pray one of these days our society will change enough to have a clear vision of the power of an empowered mom or dad.
I think I've rambled enough. I've just had a lot on my mind as my professional status has been changing. I'm getting ready to get a PT job to supplement our income until my substitute teaching schedule kicks in. This job truly will cater to my son's schedule! :) I will be working toward building my photography business as well. One day I'll strictly work for me! And this girl will be her own boss....a boss that will reward being a mom!
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