Goodbye Larry

Yesterday, Larry Lee Lenson, my son's hermit crab passed on. My son went to the bathroom, where Larry's cage sits, to fill the sink with bottled water for his bath and noticed that he was 'dangly.'

He carried Larry to me saying, "Mommy, his legs dangling funny."

Well, his little hermit crab body had fallen apart. It was clear that part of him was in the cage while the rest still sat in his shell for all to see. I quickly took him from my son and tried to hide the part of him in his cage with the water sponge. I didn't want to totally traumatize my little boy when it was obvious to us both that Larry was dead.

What do you say except the truth in this type of instance? He asked me what was happening to his crab, and I wasn't going to lie. I gave him the truth...that Larry's heart stopped beating and he, in fact, was dead. Although my son takes everything in stride - he is still an extremely compassionate little guy. I knew he was internalizing it all instead of showing how he felt right off.

He asked if Larry got stuck in his shell and that's why he died. I responded the only way I knew how. 

"Maybe, honey, but Larry's in heaven now, so he's not suffering."
And of course, I got...yah...you got it:

"No, mom. Larry's not in heaven. He's right there in his cage!"

I explained that what makes someone inside - their spirit or soul...well, that never stops even though their heart does. That part of them -their spirit goes to live in heaven.

My son started to cry but stopped himself before shedding too many tears. To make himself feel better, he decided to putt golf balls down his green which we had set up in the living room. I was told he didn't want to talk about it anymore, and all he wanted to do was play golf so he'd feel happy. He brought Larry up a couple more times during golf before deciding that we weren't to talk about Larry anymore.

Today, I knew my mother would give me updates as she watched my son and as he let little bits and pieces out about how he felt. Although she called to tell me that he said it was the worst day he has ever had in his life, he did say he was happy our dog was still with us. Our chocolate lab, Hershey, almost got put down last month.

I've never been so thankful that I made the call to keep Hershey a little longer. I just didn't feel it was his time yet. My son kept telling my mom that Larry was in heaven, but Hershey was doing much better and still lived with us. That seemed to be his saving grace. Thank goodness. It was something good for him to hold onto.

It broke my heart yesterday to experience him cry like that. I tried to comfort him, but he had to work it out on his own. I learned something about my son yesterday. He wants to be alone when he's that sad. He's the kind that has to sort it independently and then move on.

I learned that he's a lot like me in that way. I guess things like that are just genetically ingrained in us. It's so odd that he handles the big stuff just like me when I've not taught him a life lesson in dealing with any of it. I used to come home from school and sit in my closet to deal with whatever was ailing my heart. When I'd finally make an appearance, my mom knew I'd sorted it out and would be okay. My son seems to handle it the same way.

Oh... and my son called me from my mother's house not too long ago.  He wanted to tell me that he and Nana went to PETCO and came back with  - you guessed it... A new hermit crab AND he named it Larry.