Having 'that' talk!

I got to spend some quality time with my son today. He didn't have school, and his caregiver had a doctor's appointment. The result? A longer than normal morning spent with my son before my workday started. That is the luxury of my job.

I get to arrange my schedule around my life...instead of the other way around. Praise God for that flexibility!

Today however was most unusual. When my son was two to three years old, he went through a phase of modeling himself after me. From what I understand all boys want to be just like both parents and try certain behaviors out. It's normal in finding their own way in the world.

Part of that phase was to get those little tissue packets and carry them around with him. Those were his "pads" and he would tuck tissues in the waistband of his shorts. I was sort of shocked. It was funny but not so funny that I was laughing all that hard.

Other moms have reassured me that their sons went through the same things at that age, except their son's were wearing their shoes and clothes. My son has never shown interest in wearing my clothes, but I think this was just as silly. It's been about a year since he's looked at small tissue packets as his pads.

Since being sick, I ran out of my boxed tissues. So this morning I broke out one of those infamous tissue packets. He saw it and exclaimed, "Mom! You found my pads!"

He took them and stuck tissue in his waistband. I simply said, "Honey you're so silly. You know boys don't wear pads! Only girls do."

Okay, I opened myself up for this one...

He responded with - "Mom-why do girls wear pads?"

Ummm...okay. Totally NOT prepared to have 'that' talk yet. I couldn't think of a simple brushed off answer. I wasn't too quick on my feet.

So I responded with the only thing I could. "Well, honey. When girls get older...their bodies go through changes. And once in a while, they wear them because they have to."

"What kind of changes?"

"Their hormones change and their bodies get prepared to have babies. AND the rest you'll learn about when you're older!!!" (grimace)

So he sat and thought about it for two seconds, then cocked his little head. I heard him say, "POP!"

"Pop what?" I wasn't sure what he was referring to.

"Well I have my pad on...and a baby just popped out of my belly. It's right there on the floor!"

"Honey...you know only girls have babies?"

"Mom!" (As he rolls his eyes) "You know that's only pretend!"

All-day he pretended to care for his little baby girl, named Sally, who pooped and peed all day. It was actually pretty sweet. He wants a baby sister so bad, so this was his way of having a baby for the day. However, when his daddy gets home tonight I'm going to suggest some serious male bonding time!

I hope I don't have to follow up on any conversations like that for years to come.

Comments

Rebecca said…
I am SO not ready for that talk either. My son asks me to put my lipstick on him after I put mine on and I have to explain - no, it's just for girls. It satisfies him and the conversation doesn't lead anywhere else. I think I'll start locking him out of the bathroom though, just to avoid any of THAT talk. ;)
Mahala said…
That.. was the most adorable thing I've read all day lol.
Unknown said…
Thanks for a belly laugh! OMG - loved the POP moment.
Tam said…
Mommy you found my pads! OH-Priceless!!! I have a side ache now!
Anonymous said…
I am so glad those days of awkward questions are long past....I stuggled with all those things as well..now the only concerns I have are despite them growing up and moving on I still find them head first into my refrigerator and hands in my wallet...I am thinking of moving with no forwarding address.....
Rebecca said…
hee hee - my eldest thinks that pads are some kind of nappy (diaper) I've explained that they're not nappies ....but didn't really go any further than that. I told him I'd tell him all about it later when he's a bit older... he was satisfied with that. I don't think he really wanted to know!
Anonymous said…
Oh no! That was just too much! You've got a thinker on your hands there : ) You think amazingly well on your feet - good thing too, 'cause since he's only four, I'm betting it'll be a skill that comes in handy!
Brillig said…
HAHAHA. Oh, no. I'm so not ready for those kinds of questions!!! That's hilarious!!!
Anonymous said…
he wanted a baby sister... that is so sweet.
Sleeping Beauty said…
LOL, I feel your pain, my 4 year old son, is constantly walking in on my while I am getting dressed so obviously, he has seen me in the nude a few times. And when I getting my 3 year old daughter dressed, he wants to know why she does not have big boobs like me? Oh goodness! Now I know, I did not use those words with him! I can only imagine, what the future will bring. lol.
Kimberly McKay said…
Oh thats too funny! That gave me a good laugh Sleeping Beauty!
My oldest daughter just turned 10 today...I've had 10 years to prepare that talk and I am STILL at a loss! I gotta explain all the stuff about boys and self respect and modesty and MEN and love and what you THINK is love and ohhhhh my head hurts :-/

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